Girl independently looking for her own suitor

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I am a female 23 years of age. In my life there is a boy I want to marry with good intentions. Right now he is responsible to look after his family as he doesn’t have father. My parents are insisting with me to do marriage with another person for which I am not ready at all. I have done istekhara so many times its positive always. But the condition of life is too tough now either to listen my parents or wait for the person whom i like. He likes me too. I again did istekhara asking Allah Ta’ala to guide me either to wait or move with other proposal. Subhan Allah I have dreamt that I should wait for the guy which was a clear indication from Allah Ta’ala. Please suggest me what should I do according to this situation after seeing istekhara. An early reply would be apprecitated. The boy I like he is now trying for a job so it may take some 2 or 3 years till he completes his responsibility. Should I take a decision based on istikhara? What should I do please suggest me something better.


A: It is totally impermissible for a girl to be in contact with a na mahram boy or to speak casually to him. This type of contact and relationship generally leads to many wrongs. It is not in keeping with shame and modesty that a girl independently looks for her own suitor. The Islamic teaching is that a girl should consult her parents and allow them to decide in the matters of nikaah. Generally parents have more experience and understanding in the matters of nikaah compared to children and hence through them deciding there will be less chances of problems occurring later on.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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