Is it Haram to find someone other than your spouse attractive?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Salam, please Im in need help my conscious is killing me
I find myself feeling attracted or finding other men attractive and I feel so bad about it, is it necessary to tell my husband about it as I feel it’s not fair for him or I should just ask for god’s forgiveness? Please help me I’m doing my best in lowering my gaze but sometimes my thoughts are uncontrollable please help me


Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Just as it is important to control our gazes, it is also important to keep a close check on our thoughts. The devil will constantly try to beautify other men for you, so that he can jeopardize your marriage. Be strong, and understand that its not all about looks alone. There is much more to marriage than just the physical appearance.

Do not tell your husband anything, but confide in Allah. Implore Allah to forgive you, and ask Him to make your husband the most handsome in your eyes.  Yes, if there are certain things which you would like your husband to do, so that he may look more attractive for you (example, being more neat etc), then you may hint that to him.

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best


Ismail Moosa (Mufti)

This answer was collected from which is an excellent Q&A site managed by Mufti Ismail Moosa from South Africa. .

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