Answer:
Remind him that he must be equal with both his wives; otherwise he will be liable for unbearable punishment in the life hereafter. If a man has more than two wives, it is compulsory on him to distribute nights equally between the wives. For example, he may spend the night with each wife on an alternate basis (i.e. one night with one wife, the other night with the second wife), or he may, for example, spend 3 nights with one wife then 3 nights with the other wife, etc.
You should raise this issue up with the local ulama or imams who deal with marriage problems. Also make dua abundantly that Allah Ta’ala changes the heart of your husband. And always remember that after hardship there is always ease, as is mentioned in the Holy Quran.
After trying your best, if you see that your husband is not changing and he is not being considerate of your rights, you should consider getting talaq (divorce) from him, so that you can find another husband who will fulfil your rights.
Mufti Faizal Riza
28/3/2012