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Second wife facing problems

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Fatwa.org.au
Assalamualaikkum. I was married with a person he have first wife. I’m the second one. After he marry me he never using me as wife. he doesn’t want to show I’m his wife. i have very painful life. I have explain him what ever in Islam about 2nd marriage. i have read about Surah an nisa. He know very well abt Islamic rules, but he not work. how i can explain his doing mistakes? what u can answer 4 this. really I have too much pain in this life.but i don’t want leave my husband. pls tell me the way to change his mind.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Jazakallah for writing to us. We are sad to hear of your situation; and we commend you for your patience and determination. Our suggestions are as follows:

Remind him that he must be equal with both his wives; otherwise he will be liable for unbearable punishment in the life hereafter. If a man has more than two wives, it is compulsory on him to distribute nights equally between the wives. For example, he may spend the night with each wife on an alternate basis (i.e. one night with one wife, the other night with the second wife), or he may, for example, spend 3 nights with one wife then 3 nights with the other wife, etc.

You should raise this issue up with the local ulama or imams who deal with marriage problems. Also make dua abundantly that Allah Ta’ala changes the heart of your husband. And always remember that after hardship there is always ease, as is mentioned in the Holy Quran.

After trying your best, if you see that your husband is not changing and he is not being considerate of your rights, you should consider getting talaq (divorce) from him, so that you can find another husband who will fulfil your rights.

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Faizal Riza
28/3/2012

This answer was collected from Fatwa.org.au, which is connected to Darul Ifta Australia, based in Melbourne, Australia.
It is operated by Mufti Faizal Riza, a student of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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