Oath by nodding head

An elderly woman has been having to deal with issues regarding her daughter’s marriage, which is at stake at the moment, and I am a good friend of this daughter. For some reason this lady is now under the impression that I am supporting and encouraging her daughter to break her marriage off, so that she can pursue her career. The mother came to me recently and said to me, “I swear by Allah and his Rasool (SAW) you cannot tell my daughter that I have come to you, nor can you tell your parents that I have come to you, but I want you to stop communicating with my daughter as this is ruining her marriage. You also have to inform me if my daughter comes online to chat with you or sends any messages”. Mufti Sahib, she did come online, but we did not communicate. But I have not told her Mother about this. Also, I have had to tell my parents about this lady coming to me, because it was causing me a lot of mental stress. Does this mean I have to give kaffarah for breaking the oath? (Even though I only nodded my head to her oath, and did not utter the words myself?)

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

When you nodded your head, if your intention was to take an oath, you will have give kaffarah for breaking the oath. If your intention at the time of nodding your head was to make a promise or if you did not have any intention, you do not have to give kaffarah.

قال في الخانية ولو قال والله لتفعلن كذا فقال الآخر نعم فهو على خمسة أوجه أحدها أن ينوي كل من المبتدىء والمجيب الحلف على نفسه فهما حالفان أما الأول فظاهر وأما الثاني فلأن قوله نعم يتضمن إعادة ما قبله فكأنه قال والله لأفعلن كذا فإذا لم يفعل حنثا جميعا ، الثاني أن يريد المبتدىء الاستحلاف والمجيب اليمين على نفسه فالحالف هو المجيب فقط ، الثالث أن لا يريد المجيب اليمين بل الوعد فلا يكون أحدهما حالفا ، الرابع أن لا يكون لأحدهما نية فالحالف هو المبتدىء فقط ، الخامس أن يريد المبتدىء الاستحلاف والمجيب الحلف فالمجيب حالف لا غير ا هـ ملخصا ، قلت هذا الأخير هو عين الثاني فتأمل
( رد المحتار: 3/849، سعيد )

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Faizal Riza
15/9/2011

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This answer was collected from Fatwa.org.au, which is connected to Darul Ifta Australia, based in Melbourne, Australia.
It is operated by Mufti Faizal Riza, a student of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

Tags: Marriage, oath, parents, woman

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