Dear Brother, My question is to do with confidentiality in a marriage. I have had some problems in my marriage and for some 2 months i tried to resolve these with my husband but he refused to enagage in discussion and was sleeping in a seperate bedroom. My understanding was that I could then involve intermediaries to help resolve our problems which I did from both sides of the family. In order to get their help I needed to explain the problems we had, my husband was angry that I had explained our problems to others and said that we should deal with these ourselves, he felt personally attacked by his and my family. He retaliated by attacking my character and making insinuations that I had a bad character through his brother who spoke to my sister. I am very saddened by this and wanted advice as to whether I was right or wrong to involve intermediaries?
Answer
(Fatwa: 1570/1344=B/1429)
When there arises discord or ill-will between husband and wife, then each of them should present one mediator intending to compromise among them. The mediators should listen to their grievances and should remove their misunderstandings. By ill-will and misunderstanding, one can not have the taste in Ibadah and neither any prayer nor dua is accepted. The Hadith says that Muslims should keep their hearts free from malice as the birds.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best
Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband