I have been submitting this question to multiple sites to receive guidance from sheiks and people of knowledge, but I have recieved nothing and no answer at all. I urge you to please answer my question. I recieved a marriage proposal from my cousin. I am in the United States and he is over seas. My father told me about the proposal. I wasn’t sure and had no idea if he was the one for me so I made Istikhara.
Wallahi after doing Istikhara I didn’t recieve an answer. I did not feel strongly toward agreeing or disagreeing. I just felt calm and relaxed for the few days after I did Istikhara. I still wasn’t sure how to answer this proposal so I rejected it because I thought it would be complicated since I am here and he is over seas. Also, I hadn’t planned to marry someone living in a different country than I am so you can say I was a little worried about how my life would end up. However, after refusing, I did not feel content with my decision. I still felt as if I wasn’t sure if what I did was the correct thing to do or not. I began to think maybe I refused for the wrong reason and I did not treat my cousin fairly. After my father told my cousin, he was upset and asked my father to ask me to reconsider. Since then, I have not given an answer to his request for consideration. Also, I have had almost a total of 4 dreams about me and my cousin.
They are not bad dreams or nightmares, they are actually very short and happy dreams. They are pleasant. I don’t know if this means anything or not. I have also found my mind wandering off and thinking about him without even realizing. I don’t know if this is a good sign or not. I also don’t know if I should accept this proposal or not. I am very unsure and I need guidance. He is a very respectful young man that everyone speaks well of.
My father also tells me that he likes him and would give the blessing if I wanted to accept because he feels though he would be right for me and take care of me as a wife and female. What should I do? It’s been a while and I feel hopeless not knowing what to do and not being able to speak to anyone about this.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
While making istikharah is the correct thing to do in this world of asbaab (means), adopt all worldly means to also help you to make the correct decision as well. Seek more information regarding the proposal. Also, do consider all the logistics of being abroad and how the person in reference will adapt coming to the United States. If you get all positive answers, you should consider the proposal and then finally make istikharah.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai