Please urgently advise if there is any duaa that will help me with the above or if there is anything else that I can do. I was previously in a relationship with a man I thought I would marry. I am sincerely repentant of my past and would do anything to change it. I do not want to hurt this wonderful man who I’m about to marry. I absolutely cannot tell him the truth and I’m terrified he will find out on our wedding night. Please help!
Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your anxiety.
‘Medically, there can be other reasons which could give rise to one losing one’s hymen. An injury or an internal examination for instance. Sister, your situation is such that you have to consider the implications of the choices you have before you.
If you chose not to tell your husband about your past, it could happen that he could find out later and this could affect your marital relationship. On the other hand, if you do tell him, he may just decide not to marry you. If you have sincerely repented and you live your life strictly according to Allah Ta’ala’s commandments (to the best of your ability), insha’allah, Allah Ta’ala will pour greater understanding between you two. Be punctual with all your salaah and read abundant nafl salaah too.Read the Quran with greater understanding and bring your lifestyle onto the Sunnah and the Quran. Make abundant istigfar and zikr daily. Constantly ask Allah Ta’ala to guide and protect you from harm and disgrace.
To elaborate, if you have given up freely mixing with non-mahram men, observe strict purdah and devote your life towards earning Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure in your daily life, your future husband may consider that your indiscretion belongs to the past. May Allah Ta’ala guide both of you, ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai