Im an alima hafida,a straight A good girl b4 i was traumatizd. Rite now Im facing a huge dilemma -b4 turning into a rebel, I excelled in all areas of Islamic ilm, but now Ive 4goten almost everythng & my yrs in madrasa hav becum like a faded dream (I make myself 4get since all fitna started there). I do long to go back to Islam and study it again and more since I love Islam and propogating it in its pure form, but my mother wants me to become a doctor and I dont wanna hurt her. out of all us kids all her hopes are tied to me. I hav been blessed with brilliance but grief’s handicaped my mental capacity and I am finding it HARD to grasp simple concepts. I will observe hijab one day, and I want to do relief work when im a doc so I can help muslims, so is it worth it to sacrifice my next 8 yrs to becum a doc or is it wrong that ive 4gotten my deeni ilm and m pursuing dunyawi ilm? Im worried about the loan I will hafta take out 2 – I mite not b able 2 pay it off b4 the riba starts. what to do?
Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your difficulties. I can understand the huge dilemma you are faced with.
Alhamdoelillah, you have been blessed with the memorization of the Quran and you have gained sufficient deeni knowledge which can serve you well in this world and the aakhirah. You say that you are turning into a rebel although you have been fortunate to have received such high honours from Allah Ta’ala. Please tell me what makes you rebel. You mention that you have been traumatized, yet you do not actually tell me how. Your response to my questions will not be placed on the website to maintain confidentiality.
You are correct in being concerned about repaying a loan and you are also within your rights to refuse to take a loan which will involve riba. No qualification is worth the danger of getting into debt, more especially due to taking riba. It will nullify all your previous virtues. It your right to refuse to become a doctor if you do not wish to become one if your imaan will be put at risk. There are many other fields in which you can serve your community.You already have that gift.
One who learns the Quran and then teaches it to others with sincerity for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala is most fortunate. There are thousands of children, young women and ladies in Canada who have not had the opportunity to learn to read the Quran with tajweed. Make this your service to the community and Allah Ta’ala’s Rahma and blessings will insha’allah. descend on your whole family and community.
You will not be hurting your mother if you do not become a doctor. Most parents do have hopes and plans for their children. However, you are an adult and you do have the freedom of choice. If you stay away from riba, you will be pleasing Allah Ta’ala in the sense that you will be giving up a possible sin and also the fame which goes with being a good doctor. By actively avoiding riba, your status will be elevated in Allah Ta’ala’s court. You will not be disobeying your mother. You will just be asserting yourself in order to keep away from sin.
Please do write and tell me how and when you were traumatised.( Our correspondence from here onwards will not be put onto the website.) It is important for you to work through your pain so that you can deal with life’s other issues as you go ahead in life. May Allah Ta’ala protect and guide you and maintain your high levels of taqwa, ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai