Home » Hanafi Fiqh » Askimam.org » I’ve been married nearly two years and I’m not happy. Maybe we shouldn’t have married, everyone said we rushed in to it. I feel like giving up but we have got a son now. What can I do?

I’ve been married nearly two years and I’m not happy. Maybe we shouldn’t have married, everyone said we rushed in to it. I feel like giving up but we have got a son now. What can I do?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My wife is a convert and when we met neither of us where practising. We used to get on before marriage, but now we don’t. I have got a very high sex drive and my wife used to satisfy it, but for over a year my wife has lost all interest in sex, she doesn’t even kiss or cuddle me. It is so bad I masturbate to stop me committing adultery. I have told her and she admits that she doesn’t want to come near me. It’s driving me crazy, we constantly fight and she has asked me to divorce her at least ten times. I look at other women and think that it would be better with them and sometimes I think it would be better without any. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my wife’s when she was 4, so we know how it affects children, but is it right to stay together just for the sake of the baby when we are so unhappy together?

Answer

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, ‘Verily, the most detested
act among permissible acts is divorce.’ The consequences of divorce is
indeed very grave especially after having a child. The innocent child also
suffers the consequences.

We, therefore, advise you to be patient and exercise extreme precaution in
your decision. It appears that your frustration is due to not being intimate
with your wife. That is a common problem among many women after birth due to
the biological change in them. The solution does not lie in divorce, but by
attending to the problem by seeking professional, as well as medical help.
We make Du’aa to Allah Ta’ala that He guide you and alleviate your
difficulties, Aameen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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