Assalamualykum
What i am going to say is not basically a question. I just need help to get out of this difficult time.
4 years ago i was offered hand of my uncle’s eldest son. My uncle who was my fathers childhood friend and was dearest to him. My father had to reject this proposal as the guy was too older and i was young at that time. However, we helped them find a match for him. Meanwhile my uncle was so impressed with my character and personality that he nlw offered his younger sons hand to me who was of the right age and well qualified. We were about to say yes bit unfortunately a calamity struck my family. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and we had to rush back to out home country. There was no one to take care of our business and thats how our financial condition worsened with every day passing..
Alhumdulillah we came back after a year with all the treatment done. But by then we were left with no money. That was a time when we got to know people very well and saw every ones real faces. But what i never imagined was this uncle, my fathers dearest friend, he was like a father to me, who treated me like his own daughter, showed his real side. I never ever imagined he could do this to my father or to me. He also betrayed my father in terms of money..when he was away..
What’s not digestible is that i already made so many plan for my future with his son. He was the one who offered his son’s hand and now he behaves like he has neber known us. He doesn’t even answers my fathers call.
Alhumdulillahir rabbil aalameen. Allah has definitely savede from something worse. But i am unable to move on. My hopes my desired have been smashed by the person who was like a father to me. InshaAllah Allah has a better plan for me.
I request you and everyone reading this to please make dua for me that i come out of this state of depression and distress. And also please makedua for our financial state and business that they grow soon.
JazakaAllah
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected Sister,
We sympathise with you and make duaa to Allah to grant you and your family ease and comfort and grant you barakah (blessings) and a life of Aafiyah. Aameen.
Allah Ta’ala mentions in the Qur’aan:
إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
Translation: “It is the patient alone who receive their reward without measure.” [az-zumar:10]
Tests and trials are from Allah Ta’ala. After difficulty, there is ease. There is khayr (goodness) in whatever has happened. You must exercise patience, engage in Dhikr and duaa and adopt a life of taqwa (piety).
Nabi ﷺ used to say at the time of difficulty:
“لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ الْعَظِيمُ الْحَلِيمُ ، لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ رَبُّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ، وَرَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ”
“There is none worthy of worship except Allah, The Great, The Forbearing. There is none worthy of worship except Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne. There is none worthy of worship except Allah, the Lord of the heavens, the earth, and the noble throne.” [Al-Adabul-Mufrad]
You may also read:
اللَّهُمَّ اكْفِنِي بِحَلاَلِكَ عَنْ حَرَامِكَ، وَأَغْنِنِي بِفَضْلِكَ عَمَّنْ سِوَاكَ
It is reported in a Hadith that this duaa is such that even if you had debts equal to a mountain, Allah will pay them on your behalf. [Tirmidhi] [1]
Sister, we also wish to point out that you should be thankful to Allah for revealing a hidden reality; a trait of your uncle before you. Imagine entering into marriage without knowing what Allah has revealed to you through this calamity. What if this calamity did not befall you and you entered the marriage and the conduct of your uncle or cousin would manifest in worst ways in your marriage?
Remember Allah says:
عَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئاً وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئاً وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ [البقرة: 216]
Translation: “It is possible that you dislike something whereas it may be better for you and it is possible that a thing may appear agreeable to you while it is bad for you. Allah Knows and you do not know.” [Al-Baqarah: 216]
Sister, actually you have more to be happy than being sad. Lift yourself up and be positive. There is always a brighter side of life. Do not get stuck in the dark moments of life.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Safwaan Ibn Ml Ahmed Ibn Ibrahim
Student Darul Iftaa
Limbe, Malawi
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
______________________
الأدب المفرد بالتعليقات (ص: 186) – دار السلام) [1]
باب الدعاء عند الكرب
تفسير ابن كثير ت سلامة (8/ 147) – دار طيبة للنشر والتوزيع) [2]
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ وَمَنْ يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا
وَقَالَ ابْنُ مَسْعُودٍ، وَمَسْرُوقٌ: {وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا} يَعْلَمُ أَنَّ اللَّهَ إِنْ شَاءَ مَنَعَ، وَإِنْ شَاءَ أَعْطَى {مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ} أَيْ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَدْرِي.
وَقَالَ قَتَادَةُ: {وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا} أَيْ: مِنْ شُبُهَاتِ الْأُمُورِ وَالْكَرْبِ عِنْدَ الْمَوْتِ، {وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ} وَمِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَرْجُو أَوْ لَا يَأْمُلُ.
وَقَالَ السُّدِّيُّ: {وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ} يُطَلِّقْ لِلسُّنَّةِ، وَيُرَاجِعْ لِلسُّنَّةِ، وَزَعَمَ أَنَّ رَجُلًا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُقَالُ لَهُ: “عَوْفُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ الْأَشْجَعِيُّ” كَانَ لَهُ ابْنٌ، وَأَنَّ الْمُشْرِكِينَ أَسَرُوهُ، فَكَانَ فِيهِمْ، وَكَانَ أَبُوهُ يَأْتِي رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَيَشْكُو إِلَيْهِ مَكَانَ ابْنِهِ وَحَالِهِ الَّتِي هُوَ بِهَا وَحَاجَتَهُ، فَكَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَأْمُرُهُ بِالصَّبْرِ، وَيَقُولُ لَهُ: “إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَيَجْعَلُ لَكَ فَرَجًا” فَلَمْ يَلْبَثْ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ إِلَّا يَسِيرًا أَنِ انْفَلَتَ ابْنُهُ مِنْ أَيْدِي الْعَدُوِّ فَمَرَّ بِغَنَمٍ مِنْ أَغْنَامِ الْعَدُوِّ، فَاسْتَاقَهَا فَجَاءَ بِهَا إِلَى أَبِيهِ، وَجَاءَ مَعَهُ بِغِنًى قَدْ أَصَابَهُ مِنَ الْغَنَمِ، فَنَزَلَتْ فِيهِ هذه الآية: {وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ
رَوَاهُ ابْنُ جَرِيرٍ، وَرُوِيَ أَيْضًا مِنْ طَرِيقِ سَالِمِ بْنِ أَبِي الْجَعْدِ مُرْسَلًا نَحْوُهُ
وَقَالَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ، حَدَّثَنَا وكَيع، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عِيسَى، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي الْجَعْدِ، عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: “إِنَّ الْعَبْدَ لَيُحْرَمُ الرِّزْقَ بِالذَّنْبِ يُصيبُه، وَلَا يَرُدُّ الْقَدَرَ إِلَّا الدُّعَاءُ، وَلَا يَزِيدُ فِي الْعُمُرِ إِلَّا الْبِرُّ”.
وَرَوَاهُ النَّسَائِيُّ وَابْنُ مَاجَهْ، مِنْ حَدِيثِ سُفْيَانَ -وَهُوَ الثَّوْرِيُّ-بِهِ
وَقَالَ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ: جَاءَ مَالِكٌ الْأَشْجَعِيُّ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ: لَهُ أُسِرَ ابْنِي عَوْفٌ. فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: “أَرْسِلْ إِلَيْهِ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ يَأْمُرُكَ أَنْ تُكْثِرَ مِنْ قَوْلِ: لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ“. وَكَانُوا قَدْ شَدُّوهُ بِالْقِدِّ فَسَقَطَ القِد عَنْهُ، فَخَرَجَ، فَإِذَا هُوَ بِنَاقَةٍ لَهُمْ فَرَكِبَهَا، وَأَقْبَلَ فَإِذَا بسَرْح الْقَوْمِ الَّذِينَ كَانُوا قَدْ شَدُّوهُ فَصَاحَ بِهِمْ، فَاتَّبَعَ أَوَّلُهَا آخِرَهَا، فَلَمْ يَفْجَأْ أَبَوَيْهِ إِلَّا وَهُوَ يُنَادِي بِالْبَابِ، فَقَالَ أَبُوهُ: عَوْفٌ وَرَبِّ الْكَعْبَةِ. فَقَالَتْ أُمُّهُ: وَاسَوْأَتَاهْ. وَعَوْفٌ كَيْفَ يَقْدَمُ لِمَا هُوَ فِيهِ مِنَ الْقِدِّ -فَاسْتَبَقَا الْبَابَ وَالْخَادِمَ، فَإِذَا عَوْفٌ قَدْ مَلَأَ الْفِنَاءَ إِبِلًا فَقَصَّ عَلَى أَبِيهِ أَمْرَهُ وَأَمْرَ الْإِبِلِ، فَقَالَ أَبُوهُ: قِفَا حَتَّى آتِيَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَأَسْأَلُهُ عَنْهَا. فَأَتَى رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَأَخْبَرَهُ بِخَبَرِ عَوْفٍ وَخَبَرِ الْإِبِلِ، فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: “اصْنَعْ بِهَا مَا أَحْبَبْتَ، وَمَا كُنْتَ صَانِعًا بِمَالِكَ”. وَنَزَلَ: {وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لا يَحْتَسِبُ
سنن الترمذي ت بشار – دار الغرب الإسلامي – بيروت (5/ 452)
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ حَسَّانَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ سَيَّارٍ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ، عَنْ عَلِيٍّ، أَنَّ مُكَاتَبًا جَاءَهُ فَقَالَ: إِنِّي قَدْ عَجَزْتُ عَنْ مُكَاتَبَتِي فَأَعِنِّي، قَالَ: أَلاَ أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ عَلَّمَنِيهِنَّ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَوْ كَانَ عَلَيْكَ مِثْلُ جَبَلِ صِيرٍ دَيْنًا أَدَّاهُ اللَّهُ عَنْكَ، قَالَ: قُلْ: اللَّهُمَّ اكْفِنِي بِحَلاَلِكَ عَنْ حَرَامِكَ، وَأَغْنِنِي بِفَضْلِكَ عَمَّنْ سِوَاكَ.
هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ.