ِAssalamualaikum Warahmatullah
Is it permissible to hide one’s own marriage from others? The situation is that my husband and I work at the same place and he does not want to reveal to our colleagues about our relationship. He keeps denying it and says that I am not his wife. He thinks they will cast an evil eye on us working together and earning good money. Does his statements above about me being not his wife amount to a divorce taking effect? At another occasion while having an argument my husband praised a friend of mine, I got angry and said you should have married her, in retaliation he said you should go get married to her husband. Do these statements count as divorce? I read somewhere that if there was an intention of issuing divorce with such an statement, only then the divorce takes effect. He later apologized and said he just wanted to retaliate for what I had said and that he did not have an intention to divorce me. At another occasion when we were watching a drama there was a dialogue about divorce and my husband just completed the sentence by saying divorce while watching it. Does this count as divorce? We were not talking about divorce or fighting at that time. After this incident, I constantly get doubts regarding divorce and I do not know how to get rid of it. Please let me know of the answers to the 3 questions.
JazakAllah Khair
الجواب و باللہ التوفیق
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh
- The commandment regarding Nikah is to announce it to people. It should not be kept as a secret so that people do not get a wrong idea (mistrust or misunderstanding) about the couple. In addition it is also an instruction to avoid places where accusations are leveled, according to the Islamic teachings. Due to the absence of information regarding your Nikah, its is probable that all of the above issues may happen at your workplace, therefore the fact that you are husband and wife should be known.
- The statements your husband made such as “she is not my wife” or “go get married to her husband” are considered as figurative speech. For a divorce to take effect through figurative speech, an accompanying intention is a must. If there is an intention present while making such statements Talaq-e-Bain takes effect. As per the situation described in your question, since he did not intent to issue divorce therefore no divorce has taken effect.
- The statement your husband made while watching the drama also did not lead to a divorce taking effect.
لو قال ما انت لی امرأۃ او لست لک بزوج ونوی بہ الطلاق یقع
(حاشیہ فتاوی محمودیہ، ص 45، ج19، بحوالہ عالمگیری)
اذھبی وتزوجی لا یقع الا بالنیۃ وان نوی فھی واحدۃ بائنۃ
(حاشیہ فتاوی محمودیہ، ص83، ج19، بحوالہ شامی)
فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب