I wanted to know if my divorce has happened or not after I tell you how or when what happened. I got married in 2015 from Pakistan. after I got married a couple months went by and then me and my husband started fighting over small small things. Me and my husband got into a fight over going to the park. afterwards in anger when I said why cant we go he got mad and said tum mere se azad ho 3 times and then said tell your father you are azad from me. I want to marry someone else who is younger then you. my father is getting a second marriage. I also want one. after this day my husbands anger started becoming worse he started fighting over tiny things like house being messy food not cooked properly why is the kid crying why is she coming to me as soon as I come home etc. he always repeats I am better off without you I wish my parents didn’t do this arrange marriage and I want happiness without you. I keep trying to ignore everything and still try to be a good wife. he became cranky with me and small things happen to me like he would say I want a skinny young pretty wife and taunt me all the time and then he started taunting my family. while he would taunt me after he would get mad he would also hit me sometimes slap punch kick me and pinch me and pull my hair and drag me. this all started 11 months after I got married but I still stayed with him and was patient. And now around January or February what happened was that my brother in-law called him and said stop being mean to your wife and this and that and then he got mad and around 3 am he woke up from sleep and then he kicked my door and then kicked my bed and then he slapped me and pulled my hair and said mere taraf se tumehn talaq talaq talaq mugje maaf karo tum Mere se azad sorry ke main ne tumhare saath bura kiya. Then we contacted imams and one imam said we could do rihjoo our talaq did not happen. But due to the fights and misunderstandings and me not being physically well me and my husband did not have a husband wife relation for about one year. we stayed together and then one day he was mad I was sleeping I woke up and I saw that I couldn’t breathe and my arm was burned and I he called the ambulance and then I was brought to the hospital and then they said to do a case on him but then I still didn’t instead went to nyc to stay with a friend for a week and then he promised and said he would change and then I came back to him and then again he started hitting me and then I had some close friend and her husband come and talk to my husband and they did and he promised he wouldn’t do anything at all but then again he hit me and yesterday wat he did was that he came home and started cursing my brother in law out and said very foul language and then he kicked me and my daughter outside the house after he hit me with a broom and pushed me outside the house with a stick and then he said talaq hai dafa ho jah meri zindagi se and then people around my neighborhood saw and they came and then even tho we had witnesses he still says I didn’t do anyrning and he never agrees. The police came and put me in 24 hours protection and I had family come over because I was scared to be alone and they said I should stay with him even tho after evetything I don’t want to stay with him I can’t take this anymore. now I need you guys to please help me and let me know islamiclly where does my relation stand and what should I do. Jazakallah for your time and concern in this matter.
الجواب وبالله التوفيق
In the situation inquired about you mentioned that you issued divorce, however, you don’t remember whether you issued two divorces or three, but your wife says that you issued three divorces. (This was the first instance).
You had another argument after a few months and you again issued divorce. In either circumstance three divorce took place. In the first instance according to your wife three divorces took place, therefore, it is not permissible for your wife to stay with you. If you do not acknowledge these three divorces while your wife heard three divorces and she is fully convinced of this fact but as there are no witnesses, therefore, it is compulsory for the husband to take an oath. If the husband refuses to take oath then the wife’s statement will be accepted true and she will become مطلقہ مغلظہ (irrevocably divorced). If the husband (yourself) takes oath that he did not issue three divorces then she would remain your wife and as the wife heard the issuance of three divorces she would have the right to take Khula’ and come out of the Nikah.
المرأۃ کالقاضی اذا سمعتہ او اخبرھا عدل لا یحل لھا تمسکینہ۔ الخ
(فتاوٰی قاسمیہ ۔ ج 17، ص 607)
Three divorces took place in the second instance too as though you are denying issuance of three divorces in the first instance, however, you acknowledge issuing two divorces. Hence, these two divorces of the first instance and one divorce of the second instance, in total have become three divorces. As a result the wife became مطلقہ مغلظہ (irrevocably divorced) and حرام (Haram) on her husband due to the issuance of three divorces. It is not permissible to live together without performing شرعی حلالہ (Shara’i Halalah).
Note: The divorce is only issued in anger, no one issues divorce happily.
و ان کان الطلاق ثلاثا فی الحرۃ و تنثین فی الامۃ لم تحل لہ حتی تنکح زوجاً غیرہ نکاحا صحیحا و یدخل بھا ثم یطلقھا او یموت عنھا ۔
(فتاوٰی قاسمیہ ۔ ج 7 ص 512 ۔بحوالہ عالمگیریہ)
واللہ اعلم بالصواب