How to get family approval for wearing niqab after disapproval of modest clothing?

Dear Sister,

Alhamdulillah that Allah SWT has given you the taufiq (ability) to become a better Muslimah by going into niqab. Not many sisters are willing to take the further step by dressing fully according to the Shari’ah what more at a tender age like you. Masha Allah. Please keep up the good work and effort as insha Allah other sisters will take a moral from you and who knows you will be the means of them getting closer to Allah insha Allah.

It comes in a hadeeth:
‘Indeed the most beloved of servants to Allah is he who makes the servant of Allah beloved to Allah and makes Allah beloved to His servant.’

Therefore, it would be praiseworthy if we could be the means of making the servant of Allah beloved to Allah and Allah becomes beloved to him. One of the ways in doing so is just by the mere appearance of one’s clothing. Many a times by dressing up according to the Shari’ah, others become either attracted to the deen or have a certain ra’b (awe) for the one clothed in that manner.

It seems that your family members are not as influenced and inclined towards deen as you are and therefore have raised objections in the things you do which is actually required in deen. Masha Allah, the zeal and determination can be seen from you as you have tried donning the jilbab earlier on. May Allah reward you in abundance insha Allah. However in this circumstance, it would be wiser and better that you do things one at a time, seeing that the reaction of your family members were discouraging.

One of the wisdoms in this would be that you will not be easily influenced to take a step backward instead of forward if situations like this occur later on. If now, you wear your niqab with consistency and steadfastness, then insha Allah, you will be able to establish and create that firmness in you to dress in that manner no matter what happens in future insha Allah. This will make it easier for you to then wear the jilbab insha Allah.

Initially, things will be difficult and sometimes unbearable but with sincerity and help from Allah, insha Allah you will be strong enough to keep on that niqab and don the jilbab when you have gained that confidence and steadfastness later. It is a misconception of your family members that by wearing the jilbab, a person will turn old before age. Rather, it should be regarded as keeping one’s beauty and chastity guarded from all the evils that can be easily found nowadays.

How else does one protect oneself from the fitnah (corruption) and fasad (destruction) if not by wearing the Islamic attire? Does your family prefer that you dress immodestly in front of people so then you can be known as pretty and stylish rather than decent and modest in the eyes of Allah SWT? Would they like it if na mahram men kept their eyes on you all the time and then they attempt to flirt with you whenever you leave your home?

It is stated in a hadeeth of Nabi SAW that Rasulullah SAW said:
”Al-Hayaa’ (Modesty) does not bring anything else besides good.’ (Muttafaqun ‘alaih – Agreed upon)

Clothing in modesty as required by Shari’ah surely has more merits as compared to being dressed immodestly and indecently like how the westerners promote. Another benefit in dressing in full hijab and niqab is that you will be inclined to be in the confinements of Shari’ah at all times. You will think twice before doing an act of disobedience to Allah in public like going to the pubs, clubhouses, raves, flirt with the opposite sex, mixing with the wrong company of friends etc. Surely, these are some of the things parents would want their children to avoid from especially nowadays when moral values are alarmingly on a decline.

Allah SWT has mentioned clearly in the Quraan:
‘But if they (your parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did.’ (Surah Luqman, verse 15).

In this verse, Allah SWT commands us to not obey our parents if they command us in doing something which is a disobedient act. However, we still have to maintain good dealings and relationships with them. What this means is that, you should not remove your niqab simply because of the fear that your family members might mistreat you in any way but rather, hold fast onto it. Even though they might be angered and frustrated with your actions but for the sake for Allah, bear with them. Speak to them nicely and do not sever relations with them. Certainly you shall be rewarded by Almighty insha Allah.

Another thing to bear in mind is, as a Muslim, observing salah alone is not considered as following Islam. Islam consists of five main pillars and they are:

1) Saying the kalimah (I testify that there is no deity besides Allah and I testify that Muhammad SAW is the messenger of Allah)
2) Establishing the 5 times salah daily
3) Fasting in the month of Ramadhan
4) Paying zakah
5) Performing hajj for those who are capable at least once in the lifetime

Do note that I have mentioned that these are the main pillars of Islam. Therefore, if any one of these are omitted, then automatically a person has weakened the pillars of Islam and flawed their Islam. That is why, Islam requires that all of the above be observed to a person’s utmost best.

May Allah grant you istiqamat (steadfastness) in upholding His deen. As it is mentioned in a hadeeth, Nabi SAW said:
‘Whomsoever holds on fast to my sunnah at the time of fasad (destruction) of my ummah, for him will be the reward of a hundred martyrs.’ (Bayhaqi)

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam.

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Binti Zahari