Q: My ten years of married life is in trouble. The reasons are very common; different views and opinions, no understanding and many more due to which I am losing interest in every thing. First I used to pray and I used to show interest in all things. Now I have no interest in anything not in life at all. Small things make me to go in depression. I can’t share my feelings to any one. My husband is not a good friend and we don’t have physical relationship since many years but we stay together. When asked about this he doesn’t feel any feminine qualities in me but he says he loves me very much. He always expresses negative opinions about me which makes me more depressed about my life and demotivates me. I try to be happy and good but small things make me irritable and hyper. Sometimes I badly need physical love from my husband but can not approach him because we don’t have that comfort level and when I see him busy in work I don’t want to disturb him. I need only a friend but whenever I try to explain my view of point he will tell such things that makes me guilty and feel like a criminal but he never thinks I became like this because of his behaviour. I always pray to Allah to protect me from choosing the wrong path. I can’t share my feelings to anyone. I want to be happy but my heart is dead. I have two sons day by day I’m becoming mentally sick. Whenever I see other couples, I almost cry. I do not get that basic love and understating. I never demand anything from him he gets me everything I want but never understands what I want to say. He looks at my opinion in a totally opposite way. Please suggest me what to do or any dua that makes my life peaceful.
A: If you feel that this has become unbearable then ask him to separate you. You could then move on in life.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)