Q: Is it permitted for a wife to keep in contact with her brother without her husband knowing by texting him daily and sometimes calling and neglecting the husband’s rights? What is the ruling with wife keeping in contact with her family members, including her siblings and cousins? If husband feels like this is too much and the wife should be more interested in seeking ilm then can the husband not allow the wife to keep in contact with the husband until she fulfils the husband’s rights? Please let me know what course of action I should take in order to resolve the issue because I tried explaining her husband comes first before her family members.
A: Everyone has rights. Just as the husband has rights over the wife, similarly the wife also has certain rights over the husband. Just as the husband has a Shar’ee obligation towards his parents and family, similarly the wife also has a Shar’ee obligation towards her parents and family. However it is vitally important for the husband and wife to understand their priorities and learn how to go about fulfilling the rights of their families without neglecting the obligations that they owe to each other.
We advise that they (the spouses) refer the matter to a pious, senior, experienced Aalim (who deals with these types of cases) who will guide them in fulfilling these rights and obligations.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
عن سليمان بن عمرو بن الأحوص قال حدثني أبي : أنه شهد حجة الوداع مع رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم فحمد الله وأثنى عليه وذكر ووعظ فذكر في الحديث قصة فقال ألا واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا فإنما هن عوان عندكم ليس تملكون منهن شيئا غير ذلك إلا أن يأتين بفاحشة مبينة فإن فعلن فاهجروهن في المضاجع واضربوهن ضربا غير مبرح فإن أطعنكم فلا تبغوا عليهن سبيلا ألا إن لكم على نسائكم حقا ولنسائكم عليكم حقا فأما حقكم على نسائكم فلا يطئن فراشكم من تكرهون ولا يأذن في بيوتكم لمن تكرهون ألا وحقهن عليكم أن تحسنوا إليهن في كسوتهن وطعامهن (جامع الترمذي #1163)
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)