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Dealing with Parental Opposition to Love: My Struggle as a 19-Year-Old Girl

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I am a girl of 19 years of age. My parents are strongly against love marriages and I have tried my best to prove them that the guy I like is not bad. I made his father talk to my father and then my father told him that he will meet him but he still hasn’t met him. On discussing this with my mom she got furious and starting cursing me and said that its the boys family who should make a move and not us. I just said that baba told them that he would go and meet them and why do you say this now. They are so against it that they give me only two options that either i should continue with my studies or the boy should get married. I have m y own dreams and plans that i want to accomplish before getting married i just can’t go and get married to a 21 year old boy who is a student himself yet. I don’t say that i am not wrong but what happened i can not undo it i am emotionally attached to him now i don’t say that they should just let me talk to a na mehram but at least make it simple for me. i just wanted to ask am i that wrong? They don’t talk to me now. Am i such a bad child? Is liking a person that bad? I’ve tried talking to mama but she doesn’t understand me after a sentence or two she would start cursing me and saying that she regrets having me as her daughter.none of my parents understand me and i don’t know who else to talk to about it. my parents won’t listen to me why would anyone else. i just want to know that am i that wrong to completely abandon myself from this family. Wasn’t i a part of it once? And just because i started to like someone they will neglect me and curse me and not talk to me ?

Bismillaah

A: It is wrong of your parents to insist on you to continue with your studies when you have an urge to marry.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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