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Struggling with Housework and Depression in My Second Marriage

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I was married before and have three kids from a previous nikaah. I am now married for 7 months and have no kids. I do all the house work, cook, clean, iron and it’s taking a lot of strain one me. I don’t have a helping hand and requested to my husband that help me get a helper even if it’s 3 days in a week. He refused saying he does not dirty the house, my kids do and said he will never get me a helper. I asked him if was his biological kids make the house dirty would he not pay. He said he will pay if his kids dirty the house. His kids live with his ex-wife and Alhumdullillah he does everything for her and kids, which is the right thing to do. I am depressed because all I do is clean and cook and iron. I don’t even have time to go to ta’leem. It’s just a mess. Please advise if this is the right thing to say. Even if he doesn’t get a helper for me, I will carry on this way but does it have or did he have to tell me in this manner?


A: A marriage is a union of understanding, of giving and taking. Both spouses need to make some compromises, appreciate and respect for the marriage to go easily.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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