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What Should I Do if My Mother Forces Me To Attend a Non-Islamic Mehndi (Pre-Wedding) Function?

Answered by: Maulana Yūsuf Badāt


What should I do if my mother forces me to attend a non-Islamic mehndi (pre-wedding) function? Mehndi is a mixed gathering event with songs and some dance which can be avoided by going out of the hall when it takes place or lowering one’s gazes. She is a practising Muslim, Alḥamdulillāh, but she is upset and had tears in her eyes due to me rejecting to attend my cousin’s mehndi. I feel she will be annoyed with me for not attending the party.

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful


Respecting parents and doing one’s best to keep them happy is a core teaching of Islam. However, it is forbidden to obey anyone when it is in contrast and opposition to the teachings of Islam. – (See: Rad Al-Muḥtār, Vol 2, Page 620, Dār Al-Fikr)

We advise you to express your perspective very gently and with the utmost respect, to your honourable mother, that you are uncomfortable at such events because of matters that you find unislamic. Another suggestion is you attend very briefly, show your respects and thereafter take permission to leave. That way you are not there to witness any unislamic activities.

There is no obedience in sin, obedience is required only in what is [Islamicaly] good.” – (Bukhārī 7257)

Only Allāh knows best.

Written by Maulana Yūsuf Badāt

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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