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Family want the proposal to be called off but the girl is unsure because her Istikhara is positive. What should she do?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I got proposed to earlier this year, alhamdulilah myself, dad and a moulana made istikhara and it was positive. This past week however we had a run in with my future in laws (regarding the wedding and the boy and his mother yelled at my parents in our home) to which both the boy and my self were requested to make istikarah again. I’m currently heartbroken because everyone wants us to call it off. My father went to the extent of saying that because my istikhara was a flop the first time he doesn’t see the need to make it. He also says that should I continue with the marriage if my istikhara is positive he won’t attend the marriage nor will he associate or sit with the boy in the future. I feel as though he’s put me in a very difficult situation as I’m asking for Allah’s guidance now. He even asked the moulana who originally made istikhara for me to tell me no it isn’t good for his sake. What should I do?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We have read your email and understand your situation. May Allah Ta’ala guide you in making the correct decision in choosing a spouse and may Allah Ta’alah ease your situation.

You mention that your Istikhara was positive . A positive Istikhara does not mean that you are compelled to get married to that person. There are many other factors that need to be taken into consideration. You state that your father and other family members have asked you to call off the proposal . 

Remember, Marriage is not only a union between spouses rather it is also a union between two families. The blessings and happiness of one’s parents are the means for attaining Barakah in one’s marriage and life. If you or your parents have any reservations or doubts with regards to the boy or the family, make Istikhara again and consult with the elders of the family, and then make an informed and balanced decision.Let your rationale prevail over your emotions. A decision based only on emotions can be detrimental.    

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Ahmad Patel

Student Darul Iftaa

South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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