Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Allah’s generosity is extensive and beyond imagination, as evidenced in the descriptions of Paradise for men. Allah will give men everything they desire in the smallest details and more. But it really hurts me how this intense generosity is only for men. While there is no sadness in Paradise, this seems to be the only thing women are given. Allah is very generous with men to the extent that he grants them all their wishes in the best ways. It makes me cry a lot as I miss out on Allah’s generosity because of my unlucky gender. Why can’t a woman have equal access to Allah’s generosity? Does Allah also grant women all their wishes in all details they wish? I hate being a female.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you hate being a female, and Paradise is not enough for you; I urge you to look beyond your feelings and understandings of this earthly realm because none of it applies to the hereafter.
Unlucky Gender
You mention that a woman’s gender is unlucky, but I fail to see your logic, as I see we are the luckier gender. We have men who are obliged to take care of us; we are mothers, suckle our children, and experience the miracle of pregnancy. We bring tenderness, love, and care into our homes. Paradise is beneath our feet, and we have more rights than any other faith has given to women. We are a joy and solace to our parents.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever has three daughters, or three sisters, or two daughters, or two sisters and he keeps good company with them and fears Allah regarding them, then Paradise is for him.” [Tirmidhi]
Reward
Allah has promised eternal reward to both genders and not just a lack of sadness for women. He has promised rivers, mansions, feasts, gardens, rivers of milk, clear water, wine and honey, servants, company, and all malice, sadness, and fear being removed from the hearts. He has promised an even greater reward than that, the beatific vision, and this is not only for the men. All in all, your understanding is mistaken. Everyone’s wishes will be fulfilled in the best of ways by His grace. Please don’t have a bad opinion of your Creator.
Justice
Please know that women will be fully satisfied, happy, and fulfilled in Paradise, and there is no reason to expect disappointment. Instead, focus your efforts on attaining Paradise, hoping for Allah’s mercy, and fearing His wrath. Our Lord has told us, “Whoever does good, it is to their own benefit. And whoever does evil, it is to their own loss. Your Lord is never unjust to [His] creation.” [Quran, 41:46]
And He has told us in the Quran, “So their Lord responded to them, ‘I will never deny any of you—male or female—the reward of your deeds. Both are equal in reward. Those who migrated or were expelled from their homes and were persecuted for My sake and fought and [some] were martyred—I will certainly forgive their sins and admit them into Gardens under which rivers flow, as a reward from Allah.’ And with Allah is the finest reward!” [Quran, 3:195]
Please see this link as well:
Reader on Women’s Ranks in the Hereafter
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.