Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Question
My question is about whether someone is sinful if they hurt their parents’ feelings without intentionally doing so. I did something I thought my mom would be happy with, and she got very angry at me. Am I sinful? I swear by Allah Most High, that if I had known it would hurt her feelings, I would have stopped immediately. But I didn’t have the slightest clue.
I want to know because I am trying to rectify the situation as much as I can already, but this is hurting me very much. My sister says that it’s not just the intention that counts but the execution of your actions as well. But while I was doing this, I didn’t know my actions were being hurtful in any way. Please answer as soon as you can.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
Unintentionally hurting your parent’s feelings is not sinful. The Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “All actions are based on their intentions.” [Bukhari]
With that being said, it is certainly a point of praiseworthy caution to avoid any possibility of offending one’s parents, even if small. If one hurts their parent’s feelings unintentionally they should immediately seek their parent’s forgiveness in a humble and respectful manner.
Kindly check these links for further information:
Rights of Parents
How Can I Take Care Of My Parents?
What Constitutes Disobeying One’s Parents (’Uquq al-Walidayn)?
Am I Sinful For Always Making Mistakes That Displease My Parents?
Hope this helps
Allah A’lam
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani