Question:
Assalamu ‘alaykum.
My aunt’s son wants to marry me, and his family has told me to run away, saying they do not want to tell my family. Their son said a prayer and said Allah is his witness. Please can you tell me is this marriage valid?
Answer:
Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
I pray you are well.
Human Witnesses Are Needed For A Marriage
No, this action of your cousin is not a marriage contract. You are not married to him. There have to be believed, human witnesses for a marriage contract. This is a deception. (Maydani, al Lubab)
It would be best if you steered clear of such attempts to deceive you. Allah sees everything. Like this, anyone could get married without another person’s knowledge. Human witnesses are required for legal ramifications and society to know that the people in question got married.
Avoid Secret Marriages
Do not enter into a secret marriage or a marriage without the knowledge of your family. Unfortunately, people sometimes manipulate sisters into this situation, and they are left without the support and protection of the family.
This can lead to horrendous situations, such as pregnancy and then divorce, when the family and community are unaware of marriage. The family and parents would see it as a betrayal – and the pain caused to them through such an act would be sinful.
Stay safe, and don’t fall for such manipulation. If there are difficulties in getting married due to family positions, speak to a local scholar and work towards ironing out the issues. Humiliating them by running away or marrying without their knowledge is only likely to sever ties.
May Allah facilitate all matters for you.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani