Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am in love with a Hindu girl and intend to marry her. Can you explain to me the steps we should follow?
Answer
Thank you for your question. It is truly a difficult thing to be in forbidden love. I pray that you can find a solution that makes everyone happy and incurs Allah’s good pleasure in the end.
Permissibility
First and foremost, it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a girl who is not a Muslim or, with specific conditions, a Christian or a Jew. As such, the girl would have to convert to Islam. Please see this full answer about a situation similar to yours:
Can a Muslim Man Marry a Sikh or a Hindu?
Two Options Before You
If she inclines to convert, she should learn about Islam first and proceed with her conversion. Being Muslim for at least a year is optimal before marriage, as one needs time to adjust to such a big transition and re-center one’s life as a Muslim. Once she settles down as a Muslim, it is acceptable to marry her. (Technically, marrying her is permissible for you upon her conversion.) Explain to her that the default is that the children would be raised as Muslims.
If the girl is not inclined to convert, and cannot convince herself by you, a scholar, a friend, or anyone else, you will have to rip the Band-Aid off and walk away. Despite being heartbroken, you must trust in Allah. And remember that no one leaves something for Allah except that he gives him something better instead of it. [Ahmad] With dhikr, time, and worship, you can see the wisdom of your decision.
Istikhara
Please pray, Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking guidance, and take this time to strengthen your worship to clear your mind. Ask Allah if she is the one that you want to raise your children. It takes so much more than love to make a marriage succeed. Pray it in the last third of the night before the dawn prayer, pray it up to 21 days, asking Allah to make it clear to you and commit to following His guidance.
May Allah make it easy for you both and bless your decision, whatever it may be. Please see the following links as well:
My Nephew Married A Hindu Lady. How Do We Maintain Relations?
Can I Marry a Hindu Woman?
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.