Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I love my boyfriend of seven years, but he drinks alcohol. When drunk, he tells me I am not beautiful, his relatives won’t like me, and they will taunt me if we get married. Then, he will stop talking to me for a month. Then he will message me again and be kind, and then again, at some point, he will say that I’m not suitable and we should break up.
The cycle continues, and I always respond to him. He tells me to find a new boyfriend. He always has trust issues with me. What should I do?
Answer
The situation you describe is precisely why Allah Most High has made dating haram; the pain, the turmoil, the uncertainty, the disrespect, and empty promises of a future together. Being in a relationship with a man is prohibited unless he is your husband. It causes too much heartbreak and stresses you that a young unmarried girl should not have. The effect on your reputation and lineage can be devastating.
See this link:
Why Does Islam not Allow Boyfriends and Girlfriends?
Please do as he says, and break up with him to remove yourself from sin. Repent to Allah Most High for what you have done for seven years and intend never to repeat this. Your heart needs to heal and focus on your obligations, not entertainment and lust. B cause he drinks alcohol, you should break off all contact because he is unsuitable for marriage anyways. A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
I know this will be painful, but you need to do your best for yourself; this is what Allah wants for you. Get your dignity back, and don’t let another man take advantage of you for his fun. Time will heal the pain. Use your newly freed up time for beneficial things and take a free class at Seekers. May Allah give you the best in this world and the next. Trust me; you will be happy when you reflect that you made the right decision.
Kindly check this link:
I Am Now Religious, but My Boyfriend Is Not. W at Do I Do?
Allah, Most High, says, “but perhaps you hate a thing, and it is good for you, and perhaps you love a thing, and it is bad for you. A d Allah Knows, while you know not.” [Quran, 2:216]
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. S e then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.