Can I marry a girl my parents disapprove of, even if I choose them over her for now?

Answered by 

Shaykh Yaseen Shaikh

I have been seeing a girl for some time and want to marry her insha’Allah. My parents are totally against and have told me to pick her or my parents. Naturally, I have been forced to pick my parents as Allah subhana watala says that parents are first. I am trying to live life without her but I know that I can never forget her and she will always be in my heart. No mater where I get married she will be with me. Can I chose to get married to this girl regardless of what my parents have said. Insha?Allah hope that some day after they will forgive me.
Answer
Bismihi Ta’ala

The concept of ‘seeing a girl’ before marriage and to have feelings for her inside your heart is something totally condemned by Allah. You must repent at once.

The thought that you will never love another girl the same way and she will always be in your heart is from Shaytaan who is constantly trying to encourage you to disobey your beloved parents. After all, is this illicit relationship that you have welcomed into your heart more important to you than the pleasure of your parents, who gave you birth, raised you, fed you, had sleepless nights due to you, strived for your hapiness etc, (just to mention a few of the numerous favours they have showered upon you)? I’m sure any person with sound intelligence would give preference to the parents obedience.

After all, would you be satisfied hurting your parents? What guarantee is there that this girl is correct for you? Many times we see couples that have been dating each other for years but their marriage fails. Allah will find you a girl who will have all the qualities and will keep you happy. Allah instills love in the hearts. True love is for Allah and his Prophet.

And Allah knows best.

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Mufti Yaseen Shaikh

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This answer was collected from MuftiSays.com, based in London (UK). It is one of the fruits of Darul Uloom London. Many ‘ulama are involved in answering the Q&A on the site, including: Shaikul Hadeeth Mufti Umar Farooq Sahib, Mufti Saifur Rahman Sahib, Mufti Abdullah Patel Sahib, Maulana Qamruz Zaman Sahib, Mufti Abu Bakr Karolia Sahib.

Tags: illicit relationship, Marriage, marry, parents, relationship

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