Q: My mom said too many bad things to me in anger. She said I am not fit for marriage. I will never be able to get married and accused me of bad things. She also threatened to kill me and was banging my bedroom door to hit me. She even embarrassed me by shouting out bad things about me. As a solution, I left home and started living somewhere else. Please advise if I did the right thing based on Shar’iah? I felt that my life was in danger so I left home and I also did not want to be hurt by my mom if she hit me.
A: You should forgive her for the things that she had said to you and treat her with compassion and love. The rights that the mother has over her son cannot be repaid in any way. The Hadith of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) explains that even if one’s parents have abused him, he should forgive them and still serve them and obey them (in things that are permissible in Shari’ah).
Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) once said to the Sahaabah: “Should I not show you the best and most sublime conduct (when dealing with the creation, which is most virtuous) in this world and the Hereafter. The Sahaabah replied, most certainly O Rasul of Allah, do inform us. Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) then said join ties with those who sever family ties with you, and continue to bestow your favours upon those who deprive you and forgive those who have oppressed you.”
Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: “The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the parents”.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
عن أبي هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ألا أدلكم على مكارم الأخلاق في الدنيا والآخرة قالوا بلى يا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال صل من قطعك واعط من حرمك واعف عمن ظلمك (شعب الايمان البيهقي #7725)
وعن عبد الله بن عمرو قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” رضى الرب في رضى الوالد وسخط الرب في سخط الوالد ” . رواه الترمذي (مشكاة #4926)
وعن ابن عباس قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” من أصبح مطيعا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من الجنة وإن كان واحدا فواحدا . ومن أمسى عاصيا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من النار وإن كان واحدا فواحدا ” قال رجل : وإن ظلماه ؟ قال : ” وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه ” (مشكاة #4943)
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)