Q: I have an issue which is causing me a lot of distress and sadness. I recently have got in touch with my biological father who I have not known for 25 years because my step father has been trying to stop me from finding out about my real dad. Now I speak to my father regularly on the phone as he lives abroad. However my step mother tells my real dad to cut the calls of early, she tries to keep him away from me and does not want me to have a relationship with. As she does not have any of her own children and is feeling insecure. I do understand this but I feel stressed because I feel she is going to take my dad away from me. I have voiced my concerns to my dad but he has assurred me that she is not going to be a problem. She even told me 4 times to not focus on my dad and that I should focus on my stepfather. I just dont know what to do and I feel my emotions get the better of me. I try to make an effort with her but she wants to keep my dad away. My step father does not want anything to do with me if I see my real dad. I’m confused why should I have to satisfy my step parents. I want a relationship with my dad. Am I not allowed that. How do I deal with this? I just want to get to know my dad without them causing problems.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)