Salaam Mufti Saab, I have e-mailed you a few months back but you never replied to my e-mails, thought I would try again. (1) I did my nikah about 5 months ago, but my wife isn?t here yet, I just want to do everything according to Islam and be prepared early, I just want to know the correct Islamic procedure in having sex with my wife as I want to do it right, please explain in simple terms! (2) also I am think of Inshallah performing the hajj after my wife comes over Inshallah, do we have to sleep separate whilst on Hajj, what are the rules for husband and Wife whilst performing Hajj, Jazakallah for your Help!
Hadhrat Abdullah ibn Abbaas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that the Aayat, ?Your wives are a tilth (farm) for you, hence, go unto your tillage as you wish?? (Baqarah 222) as revealed to Rasulullah(Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), hence, go from the front, come from the back, but stay away from the anus and the time of menstrual cycle.? (Mishkaat 276)
The manners which should be observed at the time of intercourse:
1) When the husband wants to have intercourse he should first arouse (by playing with her etc.) the desires of his wife’s so she agrees to this act.
2) The husband should not move until the wife is satisfied. If the husband does not satisfy the wife there is a great possibility that hatred would be created.
3) Whilst being in the procedure of intercourse you should not be facing Qibla. Also it is part of modesty that you should be covered as much as possible.
Rasoolullah Salallahu alaihe wasallam said that when you have intercourse with your wife then do this act secretly. The person who does not cover themselves at the time of intercourse he is such a person that the angels have shame from him and go away. The shaitan is present and when they have a child the Shaitan also presents himself there.
4) When a person decides to indulge himself in “actual intercourse” then he should read bismillahe allahumma jannebnashaitanu wa jannebeashaitanu ma razaqtana fainna qazallahu baynahuma waladan lam yazurruho-ashaitan. (Tirmidhi)
5) To read duas which are mentioned in Ahadith is very benificial because the child is protected from all Shaitani effects.
6) After intercourse one should clean any impurity which is on him and perform ghusl (bath)
Before putting ihraam on, if one has a private place where the husband and wife can be alone and have intercourse then it is mustahab to do so. After that they should perform ghusl and then put the ihraam on. The husband and wife are not allowed to have intercourse after the ihraam is put on. Therefore they should stay away from any act which would lead them to having intercourse. Thus it would be best if the husband and wife dont sleep together.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai