Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

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Dealing With a Dysfunctional Relationship With Parents

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Convert Muslim: Is My Prayer Valid?

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Complaining About Spouses to Parents and Managing Marital Finances

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Chatting Online to a Cousin I’m Attracted to

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Can I Chat With the Opposite Sex Online About Decent and Moral Subjects?

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Can a Muslim Woman Marry a Non-Muslim Man if Their Children Are Raised as Muslims?

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Can a Husband Prevent His Wife from Visiting Her “Godparents” and Their Children?

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Balancing Marital Privacy Against Living with My Mother

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Are There Any Invocations To Help Me Find A Job?

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Approaching a Potential Spouse

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Advice to a Christian Man Who Wants to Marry a Muslim Woman

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Advice for Those Who Are Still Single After Trying to Get Married for Years

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A Traumatic Childhood: Turning to Allah in Difficult Times

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A Christian Woman Who Loves a Muslim Man

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A Catholic Man is My Soulmate

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Sisters-Only Swimming: What is the Proper Swim Attire to Wear Around Others?

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Question: “It is also fine to meet someone through school or work or a community gathering as long as the parameters of modest behavior are observed. If you meet someone you would like to discuss marriage with, just arrange for the brother to meet your wali or family.” (Sister  Zaynab, title: How does a Muslim woman find a spouse for herself?) This quote has brought me great confusion. Secret but modest premarital relationships are permissible in Islam? Can a man talk to a girl, get to know personal things about her and get intimate without the consent and awareness of her guardian as long as modest behavior is observed? Also, I’ve been reading about “suitability” in marriage. Can a father refuse a man because he did not satisfy one of the conditions of kafa’ah?

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Question: Asalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakahtu. I have been Muslim for eight years now. Before that, I had two failed marriages. As the advice from all Islamic guidance is to marry if able I indeed had nikkah four years ago which ended in a bad divorce a year later. I have been single now for three years, and I want to remain single, but everyone advises me to get married.  I fast two days a week to control my desires. I am quite happy to remain single and not put myself in a vulnerable position again for what will be the fourth time.  My experience has taught me to avoid and mistrust women in general. Am I justified Islamically in maintaining this position?

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