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Permissibility of a muslim seeing a psychologist to boost self-esteem

Answered as per Shafi'i Fiqh by Qibla.com

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher

i am a sister who has a very low self esteem i think what in the ahadith our habbib(saw) termed as destructive hayyah that restricts you from becoming a productive muslim in society and even to her immediate family i just don’t have the courage to go out and look for a job even though i am a graduate,socialising with other fellow human being seems a task to me i rather avoid them ,i am not a bad-tempered and hard to approach person but there is this fear of people in me i have many times contemplated paying a visit to a psychologist to resolve my problem but my heart always tells me that their solution in most cases is non-islamic and somehow i have this feeling that i’ll be complaining against Allah’s decree to a lowly human like me so i have been praying to Him to resolve my problem and inshallah i think this is Him guiding me to ask you the muslim scholars out there to help me with these immense hindrance to my life and advise me on what steps to take to inshallah over come it wabillahi tawfiq

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I pray that you are feeling better.

There is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist. As long as your therapist does not suggest any measures which contradict Sacred Law, then by all means, go seek help.

Remember that Allah Most High is aware of what you are going through. Ask Him for strength, patience, and peace of mind.

These are trying times for Muslims. As women, we often come under extra scrutiny, especially if we wear hijab. What we should be thankful for is the opportunity to rise to these challenges and represent the best of our deen.

You may want to consider the sources of these feelings. Did people put you down as a child? Do you put yourself down? Is your self-esteem contingent on what other people think of you? Are you not giving yourself enough credit?

Alhamdulilah, you managed to get through school and graduate, something which a lot of people are not able to accomplish. You already have the ability to pursue your goals. Now it’s time to cultivate that sense of confidence that will get you where you need to go.

As women, we can be very self-conscious. However, what I have realized is that our inner voice is often the harshest. Usually, people are not as critical of us as we think. It’s important to examine that inner voice that oftens tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. Ultimately, we have to find that voice that validates us and tells us: You are a believer, you are a Muslim, you are a woman, you are a slave of Allah. This is what gives us true affirmation. Remember, the Prophet, peace be upon him said, “Truly amazing is the affair of the believer. His affair only contains good. If he is blessed with good he thanks God and in that there is good. And if he is afflicted with difficulty he patiently endures and in that there is good.” (Sahih Muslim)

Human beings are social creatures. We need other people. That’s why it’s important to have a strong support system. Forge close relationships with your family members. Surround yourself with good friends who are religously and morally upright. Don’t hang around people who discourage you or put you down. And remember the great solace one can find in seeking sacred knowledge and drawing closer to Allah Most High. Join a sisters’ study circle, or start one of your own. Insha’Allah, you can make new friendships and boost your confidence in the process.

Finally, please see the following on SunniPath:

What is the famous dhikr against depression?

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2528&CATE=17

I fear others

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2526&CATE=17

And Allah knows best.

This answer was indexed from Qibla.com, which used to have a repository of Islamic Q&A answered by various scholars. The website is no longer in existence. It has now been transformed into a learning portal with paid Islamic course offering under the brand of Kiflayn.

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