Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
If one spouse has refused the other spouse in trying to have children, isn’t this oppression?
It should be known that if a couple is refraining from having children by taking medicine that permanently cuts off any chance bearing offspring, it is haram, as the imams have stated, even if both have agreed upon it. As for practicing birth control by way of withdrawal which is not allowing the sperm to descend into the vagina, this is the right of the husband. He may do this and there is no oppression in this to the woman, because this action has been confirmed by the Companions, may Allah be well pleased with them, and the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, approved it as well. However, according to the relied upon position, it is disliked.
As for the woman, it is not permissible for her to refrain from having children, without his consent, because it is his right. Although if there would be any harm in her carrying a child, that could be attested to by doctors, then she has the right to take measures against having children out of fear for herself. As for the usual [s. and expected] hardships of pregnancy, this is no excuse to refrain from having children.
As in related situations, it is best that the spouses resolve this through discussion and in spirit of the Qur’anic command of living together in love, mercy, and excellence.
– Amjad Rasheed
(Translated by Shazia Ahmad)