Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
I do not understand why (question ID 538) the dua to be recited on the first night only speaks of the evil in women. Evil is in men too. Men are not perfect. Both are Allah’s creation. I think many women would object to such an insult. Being called evil on your wedding night. That is not romantic or nice. The dua should at least be mutual celebrating the good in both men and women and the evil in both men and women.
Women are not evil. If they were God would not have created them for men to enjoy life with, to carry offspring, made responsible for the upbringing and care of children.
What is the Islamic basis for such a dua? I would like to have exact references to either hadith or Qur’an.
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah’s peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you in good health and spirits.
This dua comes from the Sunna of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace.
Before judging these words according to our modern sensibilities, it is worthwhile to consider the context. Most of the ahadith, or sayings, of the Prophet were uttered in the presence of men. Hence, the invocation appears to address the male gender. However, the Arabic language has a grammatical principle that an address to the male gender implicitly includes the female gender, in other words, the implication of the wording is general to both genders.
For practical purposes, any dua which refers to women in a specific way can also be inverted to refer to men. Thus, it is perfectly permissible and acceptable for a woman to make a similar dua about her husband, “O Allah I ask you for the good in him and the good with which you have created him, and I seek refuge in you from the evil in him and the evil with which you have created him.”
This hadith is not saying that only women are evil. Unlike early Christianity for example, Islam never taught that women were the root of all evil and the cause of man’s fall from Paradise.
This hadith is certainly not meant as an insult. All human beings, with the exception of the Prophets, peace be upon them, are susceptible to the whisperings of the Devil and have the capacity for evil. Both husband and wife would do well to follow this Sunna and pray for the good in each other and seek Allah’s refuge from each other’s evil.
Another thing to consider is the style of the language. Seeking refuge from the woman’s evil does not mean that she is evil. Instead, this invocation refers to her possibility for evil. This possibility resides in both men and women.
Allah Most High employs this style of language in the Qur’an when He says, “Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of the Dawn, from the evil of that which He created… [Al-Falaq, 113:1-2]
This is a prayer that Muslims are encouraged to recite everyday, especially before going to sleep. We ask Allah to indeed protect us from the evil of created things. This is hardly limited to one gender!
Another famous supplication from the Qur’an is the following:
“And those who, when they are reminded of the revelations of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat. And those who pray, “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” [Al-Furqan, 25:73-74]
Supplicating Allah Most High for pious spouses and offspring, as well as seeking His protection from the harm of impious spouses and offspring has a basis in both the Qur’an and Sunna.
By all means, if it makes you more comfortable, go ahead and recite a dua that is inclusive of both genders.
However, it is crucial to realize that the Prophet, peace be upon him, uttered this hadith in language the people of his time understood and could relate to. In our context, there is nothing wrong with making this dua more inclusive, while remaining loyal to the spirit of the Sunna of the Beloved, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.
Last but not least, please finish reading the issue in question at http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=538&CATE=10.
It’s actually a very nice answer that goes on to tell husbands not to push their new wives to have sex, and instead get to know them and make them feel at ease. There’s nothing here to suggest that women are evil.
I pray this was helpful
And Allah knows best.