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Arab father refusing the proposal of non-Arab for his daughter

Answered according to Shafi'i Fiqh by Qibla.com

Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
Translated by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

I heard that an Arab father has the right to refuse the proposal of a non-Arab to his daughter. How is this in line with the teachings of Islam? How could one, for example, reject a God-fearing man like Bilal, may Allah be well pleased with him?

 

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

This issue is known as the issue of suitability in marriage. What is meant by this is that a woman and her guardians have the right that she not be married off except to someone that is suitable for her. The scholars have differed in the characteristics that should be considered for suitability, but they have agreed that one of them is religions. This means that a corrupt man is not suitable for a religious woman. They have also differed as to whether lineage should be considered. So most of the scholars do consider this aspect for suitability, therefore a non-Arab is not suitable for an Arab. And a non-Qurayshi is not suitable for a Qurayshi woman. This means that if an Arab woman wants to refuse marriage to a non-Arab, she may, and her guardian can not force her. Also, the guardian can refuse an Arab woman’s marriage to a non-Arab, if she wishes. But if an Arab girl is content, as well as he guardian, with marrying a non-Arab, it is perfectly permissible for them to marry and their marriage contract is valid. This is what most of the scholars have decided.

And this issue, according to jurists, is not seen as a ……………. Like most of the matters of jurisprudence (fiqh), and it is not one of the decisive facts of the religions, nor is it one of the matters that one would be considered a disbeliever if they disagreed with it. Imam Malik, may Allah Most High have mercy on him did not consider lineage in the matter of suitability. So according to him, an Arab woman could marry a non- Arab if she wished and her guardian could not prevent her. And all the scholars give a proof for the validity of his position and are in agreement that this is ………….matter. And most of them agreed that if the woman and her guardian were content that she (Arab) marry a non-Arab, then it would be permissible and their marriage contract would be valid.

Now, the questioner should know that the basis of marriage is compassion and kindness, so if this is not present between the husband and wife, then the marriage is not happening according to the will of Allah Most High. And no one can deny that man leans more towards the people of his kind. Otherwise, it requires more time to lean towards someone that is not of the same people. So considering lineage in terms of suitability is a part of this, also. It may be that a person does not connect with someone even if they are from the same religion, and not because of that but rather because of one’s personality………….

However, the scholars have mentioned that if a person’s lineage and religiousness are in contradiction, then the religiousness is put first, for what was related by Bukhari (50590), “A woman is married for four, her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religion, so choose one that is religious, and you will prosper.” Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Bari, when commenting on this hadith, “And it is taken from this that one with a noble lineage, it is better for him to marry one with a noble lineage, unless the lineage contradicts with a religious woman, or one with noble lineage contradicts a non-religious woman, then the religious woman is chosen. And it is likewise in the other three traits. And if it said, that ………………………

الجواب : هذه المسألةُ معروفةٌ بمسألة الكفاءة في النكاح، والمرادُ بها أنه من حق الزوجة وأوليائها أن لا تُزوج المرأة إلا من كفؤ لها، وقد اختلف العلماءُ في الخصال التي تُعتبر فيها الكفاءة، فاتفقوا على أنها معتبرةٌ في الدين، فالفاسق ليس كفؤ دَيِّنة، واختلفوا في اعتبارها في النسب، فقال جمهور العلماء باعتبار النسب في الكفاءة؛ فالعجمي ليس كفؤاً لعربية، وغيرُ القرشي من العرب ليس كفؤاً للقرشية، بمعنى أنه يجوز للعربية أن تمتنعَ من الزواج من غير العربي وليس للولي أن يجبرَها عليه، وأيضاً للولي الامتناعُ من تزويج موليتَهُ العربيةَ من غير العربي إذا هي شاءت ذلك، أما لو رضيت المرأةُ العربية ووليُّها أن تتزوجَ من غير عربي فهو جائز وعقد النكاح صحيح، هذا ما قرره أكثر العلماء.
وهذا المسألة عند الفقهاء لا تعدو كونها مسألةً ظنيةً كأكثر مسائلِ الفقهِ، وليست من قطعيات الدين ولا من المسائل التي توجب الكفر والبدعة لمن يخالفها، فالإمام مالك رحمه الله تعالى لا يعتبر الكفاءة في النسب، فللعربية عنده نكاحُ العجمي وليس للولي منعُها من ذلك. وكلٌّ من العلماء يقيم دليلاً على صحة قوله مع اتفاقهم على أنها مسألةٌ ظنية، واتفاق معظم العلماء على أن المرأة والولي لو رضيا بأن تتزوجَ العربيةُ من غير عربي فهو جائزٌ وعقد النكاح صحيح.
ولا يخفى على السائل أن مبنى الزواج على الألفة والاستئناس، فمتى لم يحصل هذا في نفس الزوجين لم يدم النكاح على ما يريد الله تعالى، ومما لا يُنكره أحدٌ أن الشخص سرعان ما يميل لبني جنسه، في المقابل يحتاج إلى وقت أطول لأجل حصول الميل لمن هو من غير جنسه، فاعتبار الكفاءة في النسب داخل في هذا الباب أيضاً؛ فإن الشخص قد لا يألف إنساناً ولو كان ذلك الإنسان من أهل الدين، لا كرهاً في دينه بل طبيعة تغلب الإنسان هو غير محاسب عليها.
لكن ذكر العلماء أنه لو تعارض في الزواج اعتبار النسب والدين؛ فإن الدين مقدمٌ؛ لما رواه البخاري برقم (5090) :” تنكح المرأة لأربع؛ لمالها، ولحسبها، وجمالها، ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك “. قال الحافظ ابن حجر في “فتح الباري”
عند شرح هذا الحديث :” ويؤخذ منه أن الشريفَ النسيبَ يستحب له أن يتزوج نسيبةً إلا إن تعارض نسيبةٌ غيرُ دينة، وغيرُ نسيبة دينة، فتقدَّم ذاتُ الدين، وهكذا في كل الصفات “. وإذا قيل هذا في جانب الزوج فلأن يقال في جانب المرأة أولى لأن شأن الولي مراعاةُ الأصلح لموليته.

This answer was indexed from Qibla.com, which used to have a repository of Islamic Q&A answered by various scholars. The website is no longer in existence. It has now been transformed into a learning portal with paid Islamic course offering under the brand of Kiflayn.

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