It is permissible for the husband and wife to sexually enjoy each other in whatever way they like, with a few exceptions:
1. Intercourse is prohibited when the wife is on her menstrual cycle or during postpartum bleeding.
2. Anal sexual intercourse is prohibited.
3. Intentionally swallowing pre-seminal fluid or semen is prohibited.
Other than the above, using the hand or mouth (oral) for sexual pleasure with the spouse is permissible, and so are other things other than the said above. All this is according to the official position in the Hanbali madhhab.
No doubt it is important to remind that good etiquette and moderation should be kept in mind during sexual relations, and that no harmful or extreme practices take place. But the above are the general guidelines given by our scholars may Allah have mercy on them.
[See Sharh Muntaha-l Iradat and Kashaf al-Qina’]
Concerns? Read below…
As for some of the concerns that some have shown, then we say the following:
1. The above is the position of hundreds of scholars, and the majority of scholars from the other schools agree with the above. It is an issue that the scholars have discussed and researched for centuries. It makes no sense for a layman to disrespect or belittle that.
2. There are rulings that apply generally, but do not apply to sexual relations, as is proven by many evidences. It is disliked to touch ones privates with the right hand for example. It is prohibited to be completely naked for no reason according to most scholars; masturbating is also prohibited. Yet, there is no doubt that touching the privates of the spouse is permissible and nobody disputes that. Similarly being naked with one’s spouse during intercourse or when bathing is permissible. Because sexual relations has its own principle stated explicitly in the Qur’an: all is permissible with one’s spouse, except that which is made prohibited by the Shari’ah. So as long as nothing in the Shari’ah prohibits using the mouth during sexual relations with the spouse, then its ruling is permissibility.
3. Realise your position in knowledge compared to the major scholars of Islam. Your personal inclinations are of no value in relation to the rulings laid down by the scholars. So your first reaction to learning something new should be that of the seeker who was ignorant and has learnt something new. Not that of someone who believes that they have gathered all knowledge.
4. Claims that there may be medical harms in oral sexual relations are not strong enough, because potential unlikely harm, especially when the risks are low, are not given enough weight in the Shari’ah to make something prohibited. And the issue has been researched from a medical perspective and the ruling is as it stands. In certain circumstances in which there are high risks, then it could be said that this should be avoided. But that is not the general ruling. The general ruling is that of permissibility.
5. If you have been taught a different opinion, then no problem, but remember that we are here teaching a madhhab that is permissible to follow according to the consensus of the scholars, and so the school’s positions are valid and to be respected. You are not obliged to follow them, but please do not disrupt the order and structure of the page. And as we stated earlier, the above is the position of the majority of scholars, so there is no room whatsoever in suggesting that this is a shadh or weak opinion.
And we hope that these points are kept in mind for future posts too, and success is from Allah alone