Assalamualaikum
I have been deeply hurt by the behavior of my relatives. It has affected me to a GREAT extent. I am now a patient of Acute Depression and on medication (highest dose and also underwent electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) which is a kind of shock therapy to treat severe depression). If I decided to avoid my relatives in future (like in any parties, get togethers etc). would that be considered as cutting of ties with relatives? Also my relatives never accept their mistakes. While some of them say that I should have clarified at that particular moment when the conflict was there and not after passage of so much time but I did not clarify the confusion at the time because I thought that this will affect the relationship and they will realise their mistakes later at some point of time. But that never happened. Looking at their current behavior, their speech and body language I think that they will never accept their mistakes. Is it OK if I avoid them? Also I personally think that my entire energy has now been exhausted and I have no other choice but to avoid them…I want to live and just don’t keep on struggling with no fault of mine….I cannot handle it anymore. I know that despair leads to kufr but I can’t risk my eeman because of such people. I have a genuine medical problem and their behavior severely affects me and my work (as I had to quit many jobs). I have incurred huge financial losses because of the issues created by such people as I was not able to focus on my work and had to ultimately quit. Please reply as soon as possible.
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
There is a provision for permissibilty to sever relations with them for up to 3 days, in case of getting hurt by someone, however doing so for more than three days is prohibited in the ahadith of Rasulullah Sallallaho ‘Alyhi Wasallam. Therefore, if you are feeling too much apprehension then you should avoid frequent contact with them. Instead, you should try best to fulfill the necessary and due rights they have over you e.g., if you comes across them then say salam, if they say salam first then you should answer in return, if they are sick then you should check on them, and if they pass away then you should participate in their janazah.
عن أبي أيوب الأنصاري : أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم قال ( لا يحل لرجل أن يهجر أخاه فوق ثلاث ليالز (صحیح بخاری:کتاب الادب،۵۷۲۷)
واللہ اعلم بالصواب