Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Someone who is still in the process of converting to Islam has asked me to marry him. Is it right to accept the proposal while he is mid conversion?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah guide you to the best possible outcome.
Conversion
The process of conversion to Islam is simple, alhamdulilah. InshaAllah he is able the see the importance of not delaying taking his shahadah.
I suggest that you wait until he is Muslim before accepting his proposal.
Istikhara
You have the option of performing istikhara up til 7 times for clarity. Istikhara only ‘works’ if you truly consign the outcome to Allah. This is difficult when matters of the heart are involved, because it is only human to desire a specific outcome. Just remember to commit to doing that which pleases Allah.
Time
Before considering marriage to him, give this brother some time to make good on his Islam. Look for signs that he truly embraced the deen – what company does he keep? Does he make an effort to attend Friday prayers? Does he avoid alcohol and eat only from the permissible? These are just a few outward clues you can look for.
Conversion itself is simple, but it takes time for a new Muslim to adjust to his/her new role as a practising believer. Marriage is another big adjustment, and so much change can be stressful. Please refer to this course on Islamic Marriage to give you and him a better idea of what lies in store.
Decision
Before making your final decision, please consult a trustworthy scholar in your community.
I pray that Allah guides him to embrace Islam, and for Allah to grant you both what is best.
Wassalam,
Raidah
Related links:
Istikhara
Love for non-Muslim man and inviting him to Islam
Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani