Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
I am currently a 19-year old girl, and compared to many people still very young. For 2 years now I have been waiting to go to Saudi Arabia and wanting to perform umrah.
But I have not been able to. I was born a Muslim and a follow Islam from my own heart. However, I am currently a practicing Muslim and have been praying namaz everyday for 2 years now. I started wearing the hijaab 1 year ago.
I have not had a great upbringing and I have not always been perfect. However, each and everyday when I make duaa, I pray I go to do umrah. I am now financially stable, and I have not committed any sins and I believe I am the best I can be at this moment of this life as a Muslim.
A question that approaches my mind is I ask to be called to Makkah but have not yet been. Many keep saying you will be called when it is your time, but I have never wanted anything more. I was meant to come with someone but he won’t take me as he only wants to take his own wife and child.
Every time I think about umrah I start crying. I had my hopes up and thought I would go this Ramadan. I currently have no mehram and so no plans.
I don’t know what to do, because I keep getting upset and thinking if I am being a good Muslim why is my duaa to come to Makkah not being fulfilled. I do not know if I am being selfish and asking for this. But I do not know what to do or who to talk to. I find it hard to talk to family members about this, as I don’t think anyone understands me.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah. May Allah’s peace and blessings bestow upon our beloved Prophet, his family, and companions.
I pray this finds you in good health and spirits.
I completely sympathize with your desire to visit the House of Allah.
My advice to you about dua is to remember the following:
Dua or supplication is a very powerful means of communicating your needs and desires to Allah Most High. Don’t despair that your prayers haven’t been answered. We cannot guarantee the outcome of our prayers. Rather, we pray sincerely, take the necessary steps to achieve our goals, and leave the rest to Allah.
If He has decreed that you will visit His House, then nothing can prevent you from going. Likewise, if He has decreed that you will not make umrah, no earthly power can change this.
One of the most important aspects of iman is being contented with Allah’s qadr, or divine decree. If you are not able to make umrah, then you will not be held responsible. It’s important to have the intention to do umrah because, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Actions are according to intentions.”
As a young woman, you have to consider the practical aspects of traveling. The general consensus of the four Sunni schools of law is that it is impermissible for a woman to undertake a long journey without a husband or mahram. The Shafi’i and Maliki Schools do allow a special dispensation for a woman who performs an obligatory hajj (her first hajj) with a group of upright people.
Umrah is not obligatory for Hanafis, but is an emphasized Sunna. If I may suggest, it may be better to focus your energies on Hajj. A lot of people put off Hajj, thinking they’ll make it when they’re older. The only problem is they’ve accumulated so much debt by that time that they still can’t go!
Don’t lose hope. You’re still young. Focus your energies on establishing your deen, learning about your religion, and bringing your life into accord with what the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave us. Allah willing, this will open up the doors of tawfiq, or true success.
Allah Most High hears your prayers. He responds in many different ways.
I’m including some links from SunniPath that address the issues of dua and women’s travel:
“Can my aunty’s husband (mother’s brother in-law) be my mehram?”
“The Etiquette of Du’a”
“The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah)”
May Allah facilitate your visit to His House, whether it’s with a good husband or a group of trustworthy people.
And Allah knows best.