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New to the faith: torn between faith and the husband of 45 years who is not willing to convert…

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Qibla.com

Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Mangera

I have a sister in Islam she is a convert like I am only she is much older, has been a convert for 4 years and has no Muslim community in her area. She is in the USA but her area is small. She is 67 years old, has been married 45 years and loves her husband so much. She found Islam online 4 years ago after being Christian all her life. She is not having much help trying to find answers to some very hard questions. She has not been intimate with her husband since she converted due to worry that she will be in sin. She loves him and has talked to him about Islam but he is not wanting to convert. She feels so bad and does not want to leave him after all these years as he has been very good to her. She loves him so much and I feel sad for her. He is not trying to get her to change her mind just misses her love.

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah the Inspirer of truth.

It would be most useful at this point for this sister to study the faith more deeply. Once the love for Allah and His Messenger envelopes her heart, she will find it easy to surmount any difficulty in pleasing Allah. Many have gone through much worse for the preservation of their faith.

It is not permissible for her to be intimate with her husband, since there is a barrier of a difference of faith between them. Once Islam has been presented to him and he has not accepted then she becomes separated from him after three menstruation cycles or three months if she is post menopausal (Radd al-Muhtar). Hence, she has ceased to be his wife and as such any sexual intercourse will now come into the realm of fornication.

Continuing intimacy constitutes a grave sin from which she has to repent to Allah. As long as she does not consider it lawful then it will not constitute disbelief. Leaving him, despite being necessary in this case, will hopefully have many added benefits: for instance, her prayers will intensify for him to be guided, and he may realize the value of her faith and show him the true light.

May Allah grant her husband the light of faith, and grant her the strength to be patient for the remaining years of her life for the eternal bliss of the Hereafter.

And Allah is with those who have broken hearts.

Wassalam

Abdurrahman Ibn Yusuf

This answer was indexed from Qibla.com, which used to have a repository of Islamic Q&A answered by various scholars. The website is no longer in existence. It has now been transformed into a learning portal with paid Islamic course offering under the brand of Kiflayn.