Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
I was wondering about istikhara. 6 years ago my family took out an istikhara to see whether I should get engaged to an individual. We all got positive signs, and my fiancé and I have been engaged for the last 6 years. Over the years, if I had ever felt any type of confusion about my decision, I would take an istikhara out and have still always received positive feedback. Now that both of us are finishing up school, we were going to start planning the wedding. However, a few months ago, my fiancé took a turn and is now claiming confusion about whether he wants to get married at all, ever. So we took istikhara’s out again and still received positive. I asked him to take one out and he said he would. My question is, what happens if my findings are positive, but his are negative, how do we come to an agreement? Also, since Istikhara is divine guidance, shouldn’t we follow the guidance that we have been receiving over the last 6 years, regardless of anything else? I have strong faith that Insha’Allah the insecurities that he is facing will vanish, and so I am compelled to stick with this engagement. I am just unsure about whether that is the right step to take or not. Please assist me…
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
Istikhara means seeking the good. The istikhara prayer is a prayer through which one seeks Allah to guide one, through the outplaying of destiny as it unfolds, towards that which is best.
That which is best may not be best in the way we imagine it: many seemingly negative manners have great worldly or next-worldly benefits.
See attached answer(s).
How is Ones Istikhara (prayer of seeking guidance) answered?