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Is it valid to refuse a good marriage proposal because the potential spouse lives far away?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftisays.com
Salaam,

My Parents are looking for a marriage partner for me and obbviously they are taking into account certain conditions and specifications I have asked for like deen and character etc…

My parents are by the will of Allah are not finding it easy to find a suitable Brother for marriage…I have had a poposal which on the outset looks extremely good, as in he is meant to be a very pious brother who does tabligh and it seems so perfect but my parents have a problem because he lives up North and I live in London…my parents dont want me to go so far where ther is no family of mine and me being the only daughter aswell…pls advice me as I know that if a good proposal comes and your satisfied then we shouldnt refuse,… would this be a valid reason to refuse? pls can this quesion be answered asap jazakallah khairun may Allah reward you…!!!
p.s pls pray that Allah make it easy for my parents and make their worries disapear…inshallah

Answer
Answer

In the name of Allah the Most Glorious

I suggest that you first make ?Istikarah? for the mentioned situation and then Inshallah if you feel sure that it is the right thing for you to do then put your full trust in Allah and go ahead with it.

I can understand your parents concern and love for you, their only daughter. It is natural that they feel this way for you. It is the love which Allah has put between you. If you do feel for this brother and feel that he is right for you and you decide to marry him and move up north, you will of course be physically far from your family but you will be close in heart to them, close in blood and close by means of your Duas (supplication) for them. Make Dua to Allah and talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. You should reassure them and tell them that you are not really moving away, you will always remain their daughter and that you will keep in touch, try and put their hearts and concerns to peace by relating some of the events which took place in the life of Rasullulah Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam and his companions which are comparable to your situation, Inshallah they will understand.

Further to moving away, in this contemporary era of technological marvels, you can stay in touch by means such as the internet, email, phones etc and even by writing letters to your parents and them writing to you. If you do move then you will have a new family up north in the form of your In-Laws and your husband.

If Allah wills and circumstance allows, you and your prospective husband could even think about moving to London or anything within close proximity to your family in the future.
We will remember you in our Duas Inshallah and may Allah let happen, that which has the greatest benefit for you and your family and your future husband. Ameen

And Allah knows best
19 August 2005

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Mufti Abubakr Karolia
Batley, U.K
Founder of the “Islamic Foundation for Theology and Research” (I.F.T.A.R)

Original Source Link

This answer was collected from MuftiSays.com, based in London (UK). It is one of the fruits of Darul Uloom London. Many ‘ulama are involved in answering the Q&A on the site, including: Shaikul Hadeeth Mufti Umar Farooq Sahib, Mufti Saifur Rahman Sahib, Mufti Abdullah Patel Sahib, Maulana Qamruz Zaman Sahib, Mufti Abu Bakr Karolia Sahib.

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