my spouse and i normally get along well. we have a great understanding between us. but lately, our relationship seems to be going from good – worse. from my point, he is really controlling my every action. its very dificult for me as i already have kids and i have another on the way. i dont go out with friends. neither do i go out shopping for clothes or to the market with anyone. only rarely im aloud to go with family which is understandeble. my pregnancy hormones are everywhere. iam very sensitive and i get alot of pains. he doesnt seem to have time to see to me. it seems to be a drastic change in him. also he seems to be adament on sorting even the slightest misunderstanding out there and then. be it that iam @ my in-laws. he dosnt understand that it is embarassing for me. he keeps violently pushing me to make me look at him and agree to him. (he only does this when we r alone – pushing me and the rest) i do wish that Allah gave me the ability to keep my mouth shut. although i dont scream, i keep quiet at first. but then he dosnt shut up and he carries on and on like men may describe a ‘nagging wife’. thats when i cant keep it quiet and try to say my point. i used to be able to stay quiet, but not at the moment. ive told him im very sensitive at the moment, and i end up crying wanting to walk out on him.
i cant figure out what is wrong. i seem to be loosing myself with my deen. i stopped watching programmes and films since my 1st pregnancy and thought of continuing the rest of my life like this, with out the biggest shaytan. and in my pregnancy, i was extremely carefull watching tv or generally talking afraid of the influence on my unborn. this pregnancy seems to be nothing. i end up watching tv and films with my husband. and my daily wazifas, surats, durrood and manzil have all stopped. i am praying short namazes making it a habbit. Allah, has taken this away from me and although i crave for it to be back and stop the other gunas, i cant get myself to do it. i feel like runinng away from my husband but i dont coz deep down we love each other and we have too many kids!! but i cant control my feelings when he becomes like an opressor.
please advise me in the best possible manner. and asap
sorry to burden your eysesight with this ever long message.