salam,i have a difficult question that has been troubling me for quite some time,i would be more then gratefull if you could help me???? i have been in full veil since the age of 13,.i am now 27,i have therefore been doing strict veil from all gaar mehrims(al hamdo-lilah)untill 1 year ago,last year my brother inlaw came in the uk,and had been living at my house for some time,i could not do veil from him as my husband did not approve of this and said he has no family accept us,so i did not do veil from him,even though my family was clearly against this.i found t his very difficult,but my inlaws would allways tell me that i was wrong to do strict veil with there own family members,as they do not understand in strict veil.they found it very bad that i did not talk with my brother inlaw for a long time,i then promised myself that inshallah the day my brother inlaw gets married i will start purdah with him as he will not be needing much help,when one has a partner.but just recently he got married with my own sister that is becoming an alima,and she is doing full veil from the family male members including my husband.this has become even hard on me as i wanted to do strict veil form my brother inlaw,but now he has become more close,i have asked my inlaws if i can do veil,and they disagree,please tell me what would be best,to make my allah happy or my inlaws???? jazakallah
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Waalaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Bismillahir rahmaanir rahim.
Alhamdulillah with the grace of Alimighty for giving you the taufiq (ability) to observe strict purdah since the age of 13.
It comes in a hadith that : No creation should be obeyed for the disobedience of The Creator (Allah).
This indicates that a person should not obey anyone if it would lead to the disobedience of Allah including one’s own in laws in this regards.
Another hadith states : Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah even if it means by the anger of the people, Allah will make the provision of the people suffice him and whoever seeks the pleasure of the people even if it means by the anger of Allah, Allah will entrust him to the people and make the people angry over him. (Tirmidhi)
In another hadith, Nabi SAW said : The brother in law is death.
You should explain to your husband and your in laws on how you feel regarding wearing the veil in front of your brother in law as you have been practicing strict veil since 13 and so to not observe it now would make you feel very uncomfortable. On top of that explain to them that your brother in law is not your mahram and therefore it is necessary to make strict purdah from him.
On the contrary, you can now take this opportunity from your sister wearing the veil in front of your husband as a motivation for you to start wearing your veil in front of your brother in law once again. Insha Allah when your husband and brother in law will see your steadfastness in observing purdah even with your own in laws, they will then accept the fact of you being very firm on your obedience towards Allah. Don’t forget that your own family members are supportive of you so don’t become despondent from the mercy of Allah.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalam.
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Binti Zahari
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