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Rights of a cruel father

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftisays.com
I would like to know to what extent does a son have to take abuse from his father, and what is the minimum requirement of responsibility towards him?

We are four brothers Mash’Allah. My father has been most unreasonable and cruel towards me , my brothers and my mother as far back as I can remember. He divorced my mother 6 years ago to marry a younger woman, threw my mother out of he house, and has wrongfully taken the joint property she owned. He tortures me and my brothers to the extent that, one of my brothers had a serious nervous breakdown, I fear that his disgusting behavior and verbal, mental abuse is always affecting my mental state, and cannot cope with this anymore.
I am 35 years old, married with a beautiful son and this is affecting my married life and work as well.

He is receiving pension but we still look afer him financially. Since he has divorced my mother we live with her and he lives seperately. He is constantly slandering my mother not only to me but to every person he comes in contact with.

Apparently he is a religious man, and has been with Talighi Jamaat. He has not supported any of us financially for about 16-20 years, inspite of having funds to do so.

He is now insisting that I break of relations with my brother (whom he has always been against for no reason), and and is trying to break my relations with my mother as well, and this whole family will break up.

Can you please guide me how to cope with this situation and how can I save myself?

In the Name of Allah, the Inspirer of Truth.
Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Jazakallahu Khayran for your query. We are very sorry to hear your plight
and pray that your situation is eased.

Unfortunately, the situation that you describe is all to often, because people limit Deen to a few things, when Deen encompasses every aspect of our lives. We could all do with taking a serious stock of our current situation, and conform to the Deen.

Despite your father’s unacceptable actions, one must not lose sight of your responsibilities to your father. Remember that we are commanded to respect our parents, and this is an absolute command.

17:23. And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but
address them in terms of honour.

Of course, one cannot necessarily love from our hearts, due to circumstances, but as far as possible one should think of all his good qualities, even writing them down to remind oneself.

With reference to the unislamic actions of his: repel evil with good. Endeavour to be as nice and respectful to him as possible.

You must not break relations with anyone Insha-Allah Ta’ala, including your father. To break relations without a valid sharee’ reason is against the Commandment of Allah. The commandment of Allah must not be broken, even if our parents command us, as there is no obedience to creation where it would mean we disobey Allah.

Nonetheless, do not engage in argumentation with your father. Just listen to what he has to say, and do not respond in kind. Insha-Allah Ta’ala continue to made du’aa for him too.

And Allah knows Best
Wa Alaykumussalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

(Mufti) Abdullah Patel
Halal Food Guide

Original Source Link

This answer was collected from MuftiSays.com, based in London (UK). It is one of the fruits of Darul Uloom London. Many ‘ulama are involved in answering the Q&A on the site, including: Shaikul Hadeeth Mufti Umar Farooq Sahib, Mufti Saifur Rahman Sahib, Mufti Abdullah Patel Sahib, Maulana Qamruz Zaman Sahib, Mufti Abu Bakr Karolia Sahib.

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