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Living with OCD: My Struggle with Self-Esteem and White Hair

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I have a question. I was ill since age of 11. I was diagnosed with OCD (Wehem) a psychiatric disease. I was so mentally occupied that three years of my childhood was a nightmare. Again after age of 18 the the disease relapsed and lasted for seven years in one or other form. My father and mother helped me with treatment and care. I had very miserable life. But Allah gave me health and strength. Now I am an engineer. but from the last three years my hairs turned white on head chest and beard. I am young. I felt humiliation and low esteemed throughout after the age of seven. Now I am 32 years old with white hairs. I feel more humiliated. People used to laugh at me by seeing my face which looks older than my age now. I believe that is because of this disease. My disease is almost gone. But my feeling of low self esteem and ugly looks make me angry. I feel why Allah made me like this. I make na-shukri which I don’t want to do. Sometimes I feel so close to Allah and accept this as Allah’s gifts. But sometimes I feel na-shukri very rigidly when someone laughs at my looks with older face, big nose and white hairs. I pray to Allah to help me and give me success in both worlds and make me beautiful and blessed. Please guide me to keep away from this na-shukri and get my black hairs back.

Bismillaah

A: Maintain a relationship with some pious mashaayikh. Insha-Allah, Allah willing you will find some mental comfort and ease. Don’t pay attention to stray thoughts. Willingly or unwillingly make shukr.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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