Q: I have been living with a lot of hard ship for the past 4 months. I have OCD and I can’t control my thoughts. The more I try to avoid bad thoughts the more they come into my head. So every time before namaz I have to wash myself and do wudu because I am not sure if I had dirty thoughts that would cause vaginal discharge and having OCD makes this worse because I can never tell the difference. So I always have to wash myself and do wudu 5 times a day. I can never keep my wudu because I can’t stop dirty/bad thoughts from coming in my mind and even if they don’t come, if I try to remember if I have broken my wudu or not then they come into my mind and I think my wudu is broken. I can never tell if there is discharge with the thoughts but it is getting to be very stressful. I spend so much time doing wudu my skin is getting ruined from all the water. It is so dry. I use a lot of lotion and even that is getting finished very quickly but it is still very dry. I don’t know what to do. I can’t control my thoughts and I can never know if my wudu has broken or not. So if I come home late from something and there is still time to pray I go and make wudu and pray but then the more I try to avoid bad thoughts the more they come and bother me. I am trying to get better but treating OCD is very hard so an hour later I have to do wudu all over again. This becomes a big problem where I have to leave somewhere right after namaz because it takes me so long to do wudu and get namaz done. It is causing me a lot of mental stress. I am so tired of doing all this. 1) What do I do in this situation? I really need advice. My parents get very upset with me for using so much water and being in the bathroom for so long but I dont know what to do. I have heard that if you are not 100% certain that your wudu has broken then you don’t have to renew it but I am never sure but I feel like if I don’t do wudu every time then what if my namaaz doesn’t count? I don’t know what to do. I am very depressed about this please help.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)