Getting married as a second wife

Q: I would like to find out something regarding talaaq. My husband and I have been recently divorced due to many issues we have been having along the years. About 6 years actually. Two years ago I met someone and we fell in love, this man loves me and now wants to marry me. I love him too and want to be with him as well. He says when my iddat is over we will decide etc. I want to know if we can still communicate and keep in touch or am I forbidden to him for the duration of my iddat. We are both big business people and are well known in the community so we sometimes need to meet and talk etc. We will not hold or touch etc but sometimes need to meet to discuss the future. Kindly advise. Also he is currently married, he has big kids and does not want to lose them. I have asked him to let me go but this is not an option for him. His wife knows about us and threatens to take the kids away. His daughter will be married soon and will no longer be under the roof. The son is big and will definitely stay with his father as he does not get on with his mum. The smaller kid may be a problem. I understand that he does not need her permission to marry me and she cannot ask for a divorce for this reason. He says he wants to talk to her about a second wife. How does one approach this situation and soften the blow as most modern woman do not want to share their men. My head is in such a mess right now and cannot think straight, please make me maaf, will you kindly answer each part of my confused email. I really appreciate it.



1. Avoid meeting and talking until you have entered into nikaah.

2. The easy way to get out of the mess is not to talk about it and not to discuss this matter at all until you have formally entered into nikaah.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)