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I’m married for eleven years. Recently I caught my husband watching porn. I was very upset because it was the second time. And he knows it’s wrong. Recently our intimacy has been very less and I suspected that something was wrong. I told him a lot of hurtful things and at the same time expressed my feelings. The problem now is that I don’t feel like having relations with him. I don’t even like him to touch me. I feel so used and abused and I know that I will not accept him now knowing what is in his mind when he is with me. I’m so depressed and disappointed. I don’t know what to do. Am I allowed to stop sexual contact with him or is this a big sin. And how can I get over this disappointment and go on with my life. Please help because I love my husband and I also hurt him.

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I’m married for eleven years. Recently I caught my husband watching porn. I was very upset because it was the second time. And he knows it’s wrong. Recently our intimacy has been very less and I suspected that something was wrong. I told him a lot of hurtful things and at the same time expressed my feelings. The problem now is that I don’t feel like having relations with him. I don’t even like him to touch me. I feel so used and abused and I know that I will not accept him now knowing what is in his mind when he is with me. I’m so depressed and disappointed. I don’t know what to do. Am I allowed to stop sexual contact with him or is this a big sin. And how can I get over this disappointment and go on with my life. Please help because I love my husband and I also hurt him.

Bismillaah

A: If you feel that it is unbearable and you also have the strength to endure whatever comes after a separation then you may request him for a separation.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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