Not being inclined to a proposal

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I am facing a personal dillema in my life at the moment. I am a 23 year old young woman and an alima. I am looking to get married and my parents have been searching for an ideal spouse for myself. I have been approached by my first cousin brother for marriage. When my mother informed of this proposal I let her know I was not inclined or attracted to him in any manner however my mum said he is a good boy alim etc what else do you want. I gave it a slight thought and proceeded to do istikhara. I felt nothing after this period and told my mother I didn’t wish to go ahead. However once again she said to me to consider it as hes a good person etc. So I decided just one more time I will see if I feel any different and did istikhara a second time and felt nothing this time around. I didn’t inform my mother of what I felt and nor did she ask thinking she might take the hint as to why I never mentioned it. However now I have found out they from my siblings they are planning to come and see me. Please please advise me what to do with this situation as I feel I don’t know what else to do. My heart and head have a terrible feeling to this proposal and I feel scared.


A: If you are not inclined you should make it known that you are not inclined and that they should not take the trouble to come and see you.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)