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Married with Kids: Dealing with Financial Differences and Family Influence

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I am married and have kids. Through out my marriage I had a lot of problems. I stayed because of my kids. The issues were mainly my wife is listening to her brothers and parents who have just become rich and I still belongs to the middle class. She just argued on everything and when she is at her parents home she lies about me (means doing Gheebat in indirect ways). She goes with her parents on outings without me. I clearly told her that try to live happily with the salary I earn and don’t keep your eyes on your brothers money. But then she started arguing by saying that my brother is giving me money and taking me out and you have to live alone if you cannot spent for me and for yourself. (If I to her as Greedy, I would be correct). She even shouts in front of me and doesn’t even let me touch her as for marital intercourse or for anything and just saying that you are having just lust for sex, but cannot fulfil my other dressing and so on. She even prays 5 times a day and reads Qur’an also. Will it be acceptable by Allah Ta’ala in this situation? Please help and also advise that what should i do?

Bismillaah

A: She does not understand deen. The right thing is to start off some taleem in the house. It is appropriate that some selected chapters of Bahishti Zewar also be read, like the guidelines of a wife and running the house or some other kitaabs that discuss these subjects.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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