Marital issues: Am I being selfish?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I have been married for 4 years now and have 2 young boys. For the last year or so my husband has continually told me and the boys that he doesn’t have money. He will always ask them when are they moving out because they are making him bankrupt. We do not have luxuries like a TV or even a lounge suite. We live a simple live. I do not work & my husband earns a very good salary. I don’t ask my husband for anything not even a mop. I clean on my hands & knees as we can not afford a maid. Of recent I have become irritated with my husband’s constant banter about not having money. The problem is that my husband has got 3 houses. 2 have bonds on it. 1 is being rented out 4 just under its repayment. The other bonded 1 we live in. The other house his family stays in. His mother, his older brother & his younger brother & his new wife. They all live in the house for free! My father in law lives elsewhere & my mother in law does not want 2 stay with her husband. My husband’s older brother only works part time jobs. Is it wrong of me to ask my husband to sell that house or ask 4 reasonable rent? By his family staying there & not paying rent is making me lie awake at night as my husband has got 4 kids that he has to put through school. (He has 2 kids from a previous marriage) I feel that the older brother must go & work & that the newly married brother should get a place of his own & that my mother in law should go & stay with her husband or her daughter that I’d married to a wealthy man. I have requested talaaq from my husband as he does not think that this is an issue. I feel that my husband, the kids & I are at a disadvantage due to my husband’s ‘good-heartedness’ We live on my husband’s overdraft. If he sells the 2 houses we can be bond free & overdraft free. Am I being selfish?


A: I feel that it is a reasonable request.

Don’t request and ask for a divorce. However, see how you can respectfully find some type of a solution.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)